tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57871801408445866462024-03-10T22:21:03.192-05:00I DON'T HAVE A CLUE ... (BUT I'M FINDING OUT) Lessons Learned on a Journey from Grown-Up Adolescence into Full-Fledged AdulthoodKatherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.comBlogger243125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-41892036324929163992023-12-30T15:04:00.000-06:002023-12-30T15:04:31.920-06:00Lesson 244: 2023 Book List<p>Hi friends! Here is the Book List for 2023. </p><p>2023 was the year of the memoir, or maybe a continuation from last year? While all stories have value, my top picks were Paris Hilton's and Beth Moore's. Though <i>The Lord is My Courage</i> isn't technically a memoir, it contains lots of the author's personal story. Well worth the read! Maybe my top Christian book of the year?! </p><p>Books about the process of writing made a strong showing towards the middle of the year, including my favorite by Mary Karr, <i>The Art of the Memoir</i>. The end of the year had me down a rabbit hole of stories of gals who've given up alcohol. Not sure I have a top pick in that category. </p><p>In terms of novels, I finally picked up Fredrik Backman. Though slow going, he eventually turns the knife at just the right time, and there I sit, ugly crying. Just so good! </p><p>I began the year with <i>The Lincoln Highway</i> by Amor Towles, author of my all-time favorite book, <i>A Gentleman in Moscow</i>. Loved it! Read it! I also raced through <i>Lessons in Chemistry</i> over Christmas break, enjoyed the journey, and was sad when it ended. </p><p>Top picks are bolded and italicized as always. Happy reading!</p><p><br /></p><p>January </p><p>* The Mean$: A Novel by Amy Fusselman</p><p><i><b>* The Lincoln Highway by Amor Towles</b></i></p><p>* Unstoppable: Siggi Wilzig's Astonishing Journey from Auschwitz Survivor and Penniless Immigrant to Wall Street Legend by Joshua M. Greene </p><p>* Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung (reread)</p><p><br /></p><p>February</p><p><b><i>* The Lord is My Courage by K.J. Ramsey</i></b></p><p><b><i>* Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church by Diane Langberg</i></b></p><p>* Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shrier</p><p><br /></p><p>March</p><p>* I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy</p><p>* American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins</p><p>* All My Knotted-Up Life by Beth Moore</p><p><i><b>* A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman</b></i></p><p>* Timothy Keller: His Spiritual and Intellectual Formation by Collin Hansen</p><p><br /></p><p>April</p><p><b><i>* The Search to Belong by Joseph R. Myers</i></b></p><p>* Becoming Elisabeth Elliot by Ellen Vaughn</p><p><br /></p><p>May</p><p>* This Too Shall Last by K.J. Ramsey</p><p><i><b>* Beartown by Fredrik Backman</b></i></p><p>* The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Wray Gregoire</p><p>* It All Comes Down to This by Therese Anne Fowler</p><p>* The Joy of Home by Ashley Gilbreath</p><p>* The Only Street in Paris: Life on the Rue des Martyrs by Elaine Sciolino</p><p><br /></p><p>June</p><p><b><i>* Integrity by Henry Cloud</i></b></p><p>* Forgive by Tim Keller</p><p>* Anxious People by Fredrik Backman</p><p><i><b>* The Writing Life by Annie Dilliard</b></i></p><p><i><b><br /></b></i></p><p>July</p><p><i><b>* The Art of Memoir by Mary Karr</b></i></p><p><i><b><br /></b></i></p><p>August</p><p>* Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott</p><p><i><b><br /></b></i></p><p>September</p><p>* Paris: The Memoir by Paris Hilton</p><p><b><i>* Raising Emotionally Strong Boys by David Thomas</i></b></p><p>* Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke</p><p><br /></p><p>October</p><p>* A Burning in My Bones by Winn Collier</p><p>* Let Me Tell You What I Mean by Joan Didion</p><p><br /></p><p>November</p><p>* On Writing by Stephen King</p><p>* Hey, Hun by Emily Lynn Paulson</p><p>* Being Elizabeth Elliot by Ellen Vaughn</p><p><br /></p><p>December</p><p>* Highlight Real by Emily Lynn Paulson</p><p>* Open Book by Jessica Simpson</p><p><b><i>* Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus</i></b></p><p>* We Are the Luckiest by Laura McKowen</p><p>* A Way of Living by Ralph Lauren </p>Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-61888334917818438312022-12-31T12:34:00.000-06:002022-12-31T12:34:26.245-06:00Lesson 243: 2022 Book List <p>2022! Here it is. </p><p>An explanation for January. I only list books on these annual lists once I have fully finished reading. I must have buckled down the first few weeks of this year and plowed through all of the "mostly" finished titles on my nightstand. Apparently most of them were worth finishing! </p><p>Tapestry by Edith Schaeffer, read in June, was a particularly special experience this year, as it accompanied me around Scotland on a 5 weeks Sabbatical with our children. </p><p>The end of the year found me reading a number of displacement stories, which often reflected on the relationship between the author (who was a child) and their experience of their parents in the process of setting up a new life. Reading so many allowed me to think through similarities in the narratives and also, cultural and situational nuances. </p><p>Ended the year contentedly with A Gentlemen in Moscow, because it's still my all-time (non-Harry Potter) favorite. </p><p>As always, notable titles are bolded and italicized. Enjoy!</p><p><br /></p><p>January</p><p><b><i>* Healing Contentious Relationships by Thomas Parr (reread)</i></b></p><p><i><b>* Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament by Mark Vroegop</b></i></p><p><i><b>* Cry of the Soul by Dan Allender and Tremper Longman</b></i></p><p><i><b>* Changes that Heal by Dr. Henry Cloud</b></i></p><p><b><i>* Unpacking Forgiveness by Chris Brauns</i></b></p><p><i><b>* Attachments: Why You Love, Feel, and Act the Way You Do by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Gary Sibcy</b></i></p><p>* Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund</p><p><br /></p><p>February</p><p>* Redeeming Heartache by Dan B. Allender and Cathy Loerzel</p><p><br /></p><p>March</p><p>* Dare to Lead by Brene Brown</p><p>* The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller (reread)</p><p>* Union with Christ by Rankin Wilbourne</p><p><b><i>* Try Softer by Aundi Kolber </i></b></p><p><br /></p><p>May</p><p>* A Sunlit Weapon by Jacqueline Winspear</p><p>* L'Abri by Edith Schaeffer</p><p>* The Grace Outpouring by Roy Godwin</p><p><br /></p><p>June</p><p>* The Tapestry by Edith Schaeffer</p><p>* Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix by J.K. Rowling (audio)</p><p><br /></p><p>July</p><p>* The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin</p><p>* Can't Even: How Millenials Become the Burnout Generation by Anne Helen Petersen</p><p><br /></p><p>August</p><p>* Aunt Dimity and the Summer King by Nancy Atherton</p><p>* We Were Dreamers by Simu Liu</p><p>* Atomic Habits by James Clear</p><p><i><b>* Leading with a Limp by Dan B. Allender</b></i></p><p><br /></p><p>September</p><p>* The Year of Living Danishly by Helen Russell (reread)</p><p>* College Ministry in a Post-Christian Culture by Stephen Lutz</p><p><br /></p><p>October</p><p><b><i>* Low Anthropology: The Unlikely Key to a Gracious View of Others (and Yourself) by David Zahl</i></b></p><p>* Salt to the Sea by Ruta Sepetys</p><p>* Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah</p><p><br /></p><p>November</p><p>* My Money My Way by Kumiko Love</p><p><b><i>* Where the Children Take Us by Zain E. Asher</i></b></p><p><b><i>* The Fortunes of Jaded Women by Carolyn Huynh</i></b></p><p><i><b>* Meredith Alone by Claire Alexander </b></i></p><p><br /></p><p>December</p><p>* Diary of a Misfit by Casey Parks</p><p><i><b>* Everything Sad is Untrue by Daniel Nayeri</b></i></p><p>* A Gentlemen in Moscow by Amor Towles (reread)</p><p>* Parisian by Design: Interiors by David Jimenez by Diane Dorrans Saeks</p>Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-39325593844610535492022-01-03T14:34:00.001-06:002022-01-03T14:47:39.514-06:00Lesson 242: 2021 Book List<p>2021 is the year I read Andrew Peterson and Brene Brown. There are a fair amount of counseling titles and WWII fiction as well. Top reads have been bolded and italicized. Enjoy!</p><p><br /></p><p>January</p><p>* Boundaries for Your Soul by Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller</p><p>* Awe by Paul David Tripp</p><p>* Healing Contentious Relationships by Thomas Parr</p><p><br /></p><p>February</p><p>* Lead by Paul David Tripp</p><p>* The Silent Patient by Alex Michalides</p><p>* In Sheep's Clothing by George K. Simon</p><p><br /></p><p>March</p><p>* A Tramp for the Lord by Corrie Ten Boom</p><p>* From Fear to Freedom by Rose Marie Miller</p><p><br /></p><p>April</p><p>* Co-Laborers Co-Heirs edited by Brittany Smith and Doug Serven</p><p><br /></p><p>May</p><p>* The Dance of Deception by Harriet Lerner</p><p>* The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah</p><p>* The Principles of Pretty Rooms by Phoebe Howard</p><p>* Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling (reread)</p><p><i><b>* Rising Strong by Brene Brown</b></i></p><p><br /></p><p>June</p><p>* The Consequences of Fear by Jacqueline Winspear</p><p>* Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly</p><p>* Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay</p><p>* The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown</p><p>* Daring Greatly by Brene Brown</p><p>* Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown</p><p>* Emotionally Healthy Discipleship by Peter Scazzero</p><p><br /></p><p>July</p><p>* On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness: Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson</p><p>* North! Or Be Eaten: Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson</p><p>* The Monster in the Hallows: Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson</p><p><i><b>* The Warden and the Wolf King: Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson</b></i></p><p>* Born a Crime by Trevor Noah</p><p>* The Bookshop of Second Chances by Jackie Fraser</p><p>* Redeeming Money by Paul David Tripp</p><p>* Play by Stuart Brown </p><p><br /></p><p>August</p><p>* Cheer Up! The Life and Ministry of Jack Miller by Michael A. Graham</p><p>* Educated by Tara Westover (reread)</p><p><i><b>* What is a Girl Worth? by Rachel Denhollander</b></i></p><p><br /></p><p>September</p><p><i><b>* Bold Love by Dan Allender</b></i></p><p>* Conjure Women: A Novel by Afia Atakora</p><p>* The Riviera House by Natasha Lester</p><p><br /></p><p>October</p><p>* The Peacemaker by Ken Sande</p><p>* Talking Back to Purity Culture by Rachel Joy Welcher</p><p>* The Contemplative Pastor by Eugene H. Peterson</p><p>* Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkins Reid</p><p><br /></p><p>November</p><p>* In His Image by Jen Wilkin (reread)</p><p>* The Book Thief (reread)</p><p><br /></p><p>December</p><p>* The Winter Guest by Pam Jenoff</p><p>* The Light Over London by Julia Kelly</p><p>* Three Words for Goodbye by Hazel Gaynor and Heather Webb</p><p>* Feels Like Home by Lauren Liess</p><p><b><i>* Designing History by Michael S. Smith</i></b></p>Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-9749749060306405172021-01-05T16:26:00.003-06:002022-12-31T12:26:42.819-06:00Lesson 241: 2020 Book List<div>Top reads for the year have been bolded and italicized. Enjoy!</div><div><br /></div>January<br />
<br /><b><i>
* The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah<br /></i></b>
<br />
* Cozy Minimalist Home by Mcquillyn Smith<br />
<br />
* Becoming by Michelle Obama<br />
<br />
* At Home in the World by Tsh Oxenreider<br />
<br /><b><i>
* Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson<br /></i></b>
<br />
* Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki<br />
<br />
<br />
February<br />
<br />
* Messy Beautiful Friendship by Christine Hoover<br />
<br />
<br />
April<br />
<br />
* Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling (reread)<br />
<br />
* Harry Potter and Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling (reread)<br />
<br />
* It's Easier to Succeed than to Fail by Truett Cathey<br />
<br /><b><i>
* Open by Andre Agassi<br /></i></b>
<br />
<br />
May<br />
<br /><b><i>
* Broken and Beloved by Sammy Rhodes<br /></i></b>
<br />
* Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell (reread)<br />
<br />
* A Year in Provence by Peter Mayle<br />
<br />
* Good to Great by Jim Collins<br />
<br />
* All We Ever Wanted by Emily Griffin<br />
<br />
<br />
June<br />
<br />
* Elizabeth Cady Stanton: An American Life by Lori D. Ginzberg<br />
<br />
* Little Big Lies by Liane Moriarty<br />
<br />
* The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty<br />
<br />
* Money-Making Mom by Crystal Paine<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>July</div><div><br /></div><div>* Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers</div><div><br /></div><div>* An Affair with a House by Bunny Williams</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>August</div><div><br /></div><div>* The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer<br />
<br />
* Holy Hunger by Margaret Bullitt-Jonas</div><div><br /></div><div>* Arriving Home by James Farmer</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>September</div><div><br /></div><div>* More Beautiful by Mark D. Sikes</div><div><br /></div><div>* Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>October</div><div><br /></div><div><b><i>* A Gentle Answer by Scott Sauls</i></b></div><div><br /></div><div>* Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero</div><div><br /></div><div>* Friendish by Kelly Needham</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>November</div><div><br /></div><div><b><i>* Untangling Emotions by J. Alasdair Groves and Winston T. Smith</i></b></div><div><br /></div><div>* The Dance of Connection by Harriet Lerner</div><div><br /></div><div>* Relationships: A Mess Worth Making by Timothy S. Lane & Paul David Tripp (reread)</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>December</div><div><br /></div><div><b><i>* Extravagant Grace by Barbara R. Duguid</i></b></div><div><br /></div><div>* Near & Far: Interiors I Love by Lisa Fine</div><div><br /></div>Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-49118748377540307672020-05-14T20:55:00.000-05:002020-05-14T20:55:00.018-05:00Lesson 240: Covid and Life and ShedsCovid-19. Week 8. I'm at home, alone. The kids and Mark are out for the night, social distancing appropriate activities. Camping and such. For the first time, in a long time, it's just me.<br />
<br />
And I find myself writing in the shed attachment of our garage. Surrounded by broken electronics. Tools. Gorilla glue. A lamp that I wanted out of the house, but that Mark felt would be useful in this separate unseen place of his.<br />
<br />
And it feels fitting.<br />
<br />
I could be on my back porch. Enjoying the beauty of the gorgeous green this unprecedented spring weather has gifted us. I could be looking over the first buds of the pink hydrangeas potted out there, transplanted from our last home. A spot I continually describe as decadent in its lushness. I could be breathing the fresh air and considering the subtlety of the light as it fades away so gently, as it does at the end of an incredible day.<br />
<br />
But even in its privacy, the back porch has views of neighbors and neighbors have view of me.<br />
<br />
And I have the best neighbors! If this season at home has taught me anything, it's that I have the best neighbors!<br />
<br />
But I don't want to see them, right now, while I'm alone. And I don't want them to see me.<br />
<br />
And I could be in my comfortable and welcoming house. We all know I've spent enough of these last eight weeks, tweaking and moving and painting and creating, massaging it ever so slowly it into a place of beauty. My hobby. My obsession?<br />
<br />
But my house, my home, is a place that is meant to be full. Full of children. Full of friends. Full of college students.<br />
<br />
And what I want, what I desire, is to truly be alone. In a place with no others and no future of others.<br />
<br />
I want to be alone.<br />
<br />
And so, here I am, writing in our shed.<br />
<br />
Though alone, and desiring to be so, I'm choosing to share these thoughts, because of something a friend said last night.<br />
<br />
After preaching a phenomenal sermon on Ecclesiastes 1, proclaiming the goodness of the resurrection to college students nationwide (via zoom, of course), speaking about the disappointment of the world in contrast to the delight of Jesus, he said that throughout his life and ministry, the times when students and others have most connected to his speaking and teaching, are the times when he spoke about the hardest situations. His deepest cuts. His most painful moments. (My summation of the thought, not his direct quote.)<br />
<br />
And as I wandered around my empty house, looking for a quiet space, to be alone, willing to be alone <i>with</i> the Lord, after landing in our shed, I realized how fitting a place it was. <i>This is the place. </i>And I realized, these are the thoughts, the feelings, the emotions, that will translate. To others.<br />
<br />
I love people. I love beauty. If I want to "be happy" or feel alive, I chat with my neighbors or friends or mom. I walk through my garden. I indulge in the sensory overload of those back porch hydrangeas. How magnificent! Who am I to be sad in such a world as this?<br />
<br />
Maybe it's the 3 in me, or maybe it's something else, but with people, or in nature, my spirits are quickened. I'm revived. I am truly reminded of the joy and love available in life.<br />
<br />
But in a lot of ways, more than anything, I'm distracted away from the lingering pain or hurt that I want to consider. The pain or hurt that set me wandering, seeking the solitude or beauty in the first place.<br />
<br />
And rather than face the pain, I accept the gift of temporary beauty or relationship and move on.<br />
<br />
And there are all sorts of reasons why this is and why it's ok.<br />
<br />
But the pain, the hurt, the sadness, doesn't go away. It just buries itself in deeper. To a place that is untouchable, to a place not worth mentioning again, because my goodness ... look how beautiful it is, and see how wonderful people are.<br />
<br />
Covid has been a season of a lot of coping. For a lot of us. Underlying the goodness of extra time and room to breath, there's been a layer of ... all the things.<br />
<br />
I listened to Dan Allender give his synopsis of this time, speaking of a communal experience of low-level (sometimes high-level) trauma. And one of his points was that this season of uncertainty and low-level trauma will certainly bring about the resurfacing of un-dealt-with trauma.<br />
<br />
The un-bright and beautiful. The unloving. The non-communal moments of our lives.<br />
<br />
And after eight weeks of all that nagging me, it feels more appropriate to process honestly in the shed, than with the flowers.<br />
<br />
Everyone who walks by gets to see the flowers. All the friends who visit our home are invited into the living room. But who spends time in the shed?<br />
<br />
In the most non-cheesy way possible, I want to say, that Jesus spends time in the shed.<br />
<br />
It's where the paint and the paintbrushes are stored, the drop cloths and rollers. The tools needed to make that bright bedroom the most perfect shade of blue-gray-teal-white. It's where the plant food and seeder and mower live, waiting and ready to do the work required for a glorious yard.<br />
<br />
The house. The yard. None of it happens without the shed.<br />
<br />
And after hearing my friend speak about how Jesus uses the hard to bring him glory, to bring connection and healing, I'm sitting here, looking around this space of ruggedness, of unkemptness and work, and realizing it's here, that he'll work.<br />
<br />
The pain itself doesn't bring God glory. Another friend has been reminding recently me that pain does not simply go away. It is either transformed, or transmitted, but one way or another, something happens with it.<br />
<br />
And transformation of the broken, can only come through Christ. The one who came to redeem. The one who makes all things new.<br />
<br />
Transformation of the pain through Christ. That brings him glory.<br />
<br />
And believing that. Trusting Jesus to come into the shed with me. To see past the beauty of the yard and the house, the witty banter and playful conversation. To see me. To know he sees me and to know that he still loves me. That is the work of a profound grace.<br />
<br />
That's the true and only way forward.<br />
<br />
So here I am. Doing this work with him. Going to battle against the demons of hell, and boldly (not so boldly) proclaiming that hope comes through the resurrection of Jesus. My savior and my king. To bring him glory.<br />
<br />
And feeling grateful that he knows. That he is. That he's here. And I'm not alone.<br />
<br />
<br />
Lesson Learned: Sheds.Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-71044726767360591442020-04-30T10:57:00.001-05:002020-04-30T10:57:16.765-05:00Lesson 239: 2019 Book ListJanuary<br />
<br />
* Behind the Beautiful Forevers by Katherine Boo<br />
<br />
* Rich People Problems by Kevin Kwan<br />
<br />
<br />
March<br />
<br />
* Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman<br />
<br />
<br />
June<br />
<br />
* Timeless Interiors by Kathryn M. Ireland<br />
<br />
<br />
July<br />
<br />
* The Guest Book by Sarah Blake<br />
<br />
* Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens<br />
<br />
* A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles (reread)<br />
<br />
<br />
November<br />
<br />
* The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey<br />
<br />
<br />
December<br />
<br />
* Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell<br />
<br />
<br />Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-63016476461496757772019-11-12T21:05:00.002-06:002019-11-12T21:05:50.263-06:00Lesson 238: 2018 Book ListJanuary:<br />
<br />
* Surprised by Oxford: A Memoir by Carolyn Weber<br />
<br />
* Kisses for Katie by Beth Clark and Katie Davis<br />
<br />
* Bonhoeffer by Eric Metaxas<br />
<br />
* Silver Sparrow by Tayari Jones<br />
<br />
* The Boston Girl by Anita Diamant<br />
<br />
<br />
February:<br />
<br />
* The House by the River by Lena Manta<br />
<br />
* Women's Ministry in the Local Church by J. Ligon Duncan and Susan Hunt<br />
<br />
<br />
May:<br />
<br />
* Meet the Frugalwoods by Elizabeth Willard Thames<br />
<br />
<br />
June:<br />
<br />
* Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover<br />
<br />
<br />
July:<br />
<br />
* The Gospel Comes with a House Key by Rosaria Butterfield<br />
<br />
* First Comes Love by Emily Griffin<br />
<br />
* The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling<br />
<br />
<br />
August:<br />
<br />
* Refresh by Shona and David Murray<br />
<br />
* Glory Road Edited by Anthony J. Carter<br />
<br />
<br />
September:<br />
<br />
* Women of the Word by Jen Wilken<br />
<br />
<br />
October:<br />
<br />
* Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan<br />
<br />
* A Fault in Our Stars by John Green<br />
<br />
* The Message of Galatians by John Stott<br />
<br />
<br />
November<br />
<br />
* The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn<br />
<br />
* Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling (out loud to the kids)<br />
<br />
<br />
December:<br />
<br />
* Crazy Rich Girlfriend by Kevin Kwan<br />
<br />
* Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey<br />
<br />
* Homebody by Joanna GainesKatherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-66284407554490869372018-05-24T19:36:00.000-05:002018-05-24T19:36:18.045-05:00Lesson 237: 2017 Book ListThis is the 2017 Book List. I still have not had time to comment on it, but I'm thinking I need to publish before we're halfway in 2018.<br />
<br />
<br />
January<br />
<br />
* The Rocks: A Novel by Peter Nichols<br />
<br />
* The German Girl: A Novel by Armando Lucas Correa<br />
<br />
* The Magnolia Story by Chip and Joanna Gaines<br />
<br />
<br />
February<br />
<br />
* Breathless: An American Girl in Paris by Nancy K. Miller<br />
<br />
<br />
March<br />
<br />
* The Year of Living Danishly by Helen Russell<br />
<br />
* Irena's Children by Tilar J. Mazzeo<br />
<br />
* Precious and Grace by Alexander McCall Smith<br />
<br />
* The Tea Planter's Wife: A Novel by Dinah Jefferies<br />
<br />
<br />
April<br />
<br />
* In This Grave Hour by Jacqueline Winspear<br />
<br />
* Without Reservation by Alice Steinbach<br />
<br />
* Night by Elie Wiesel<br />
<br />
* Beautiful: All-American Decorating and Timeless Style by Mark D. Sikes<br />
<br />
* Invincible Summer by Alice Adams<br />
<br />
* Cooking for Picasso: A Novel by Camille Aubray<br />
<br />
<br />
May<br />
<br />
* To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee<br />
<br />
* The Invitation by Lucy Foley<br />
<br />
* Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant by Anne Tyler<br />
<br />
<br />
June<br />
<br />
* The Girls of August by Anne Rivers Siddons<br />
<br />
* Susquehanna by Harriet Segal<br />
<br />
* A Gentlemen in Moscow by Amor Towles<br />
<br />
<br />
July<br />
<br />
* Rules of Civility by Amor Towles<br />
<br />
<br />
August<br />
<br />
* Saints for All Occasions by Courtney Sullivan<br />
<br />
* The Patriots: A Novel by Sana Krasikov<br />
<br />
<br />
October<br />
<br />
* Word-Filled Women's Ministry. Edited by Gloria Furman and Kathleen B. Nielson<br />
<br />
* What We Lose: A Novel by Zinzi Clemmons<br />
<br />
<br />
November<br />
<br />
* Bittersweet by Miranda Beverly-Whittemore<br />
<br />
* The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Tim Keller<br />
<br />
<br />
December<br />
<br />
* Habitat: The Field Guide to Decorating by Lauren Liess<br />
<br />
* The Lifegiving Home by Sally Clarkson and Sarah Clarkson<br />
<br />
* One Man's Folly by Julia ReedKatherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-53702307894379305222017-09-18T20:35:00.000-05:002017-09-18T20:46:56.030-05:00Lesson 236: I Have an iPhoneThis past weekend, I went on a church retreat with 100 women equally spread between the ages of 23-80+. We played a mixer game where you have to find a person in the room who fits each category listed in small boxes on a sheet. I and one other lady were the only two able to initial the box labeled: Does not use a smartphone.<br />
<br />
It was a glorious way to end an era.<br />
<br />
Because today, my friends, my husband switched me to an iPhone.<br />
<br />
I've spent the last 13 years (since 2003) as a contented flip phone owner. I could kind of text (remember T9?), take fuzzy pictures, and dial 911. And as long as I knew where my phone was (which was not to be assumed), I could answer your phone call and we could have a nice chat.<br />
<br />
It has been enough.<br />
<br />
About a year ago, my little brother passed on an old iPhone, but it has just sat in a drawer, because when given the choice, turns out I didn't want one.<br />
<br />
I guess I sort of had reasons, like wanting to be able to deny Julia one when she hits middle school. "No honey, actually everyone does NOT have one." But other than that, there's not much to say.<br />
<br />
It's a little like the persistence and purposelessness in a scene from Forrest Gump.<br />
<br />
"That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a run. So I ran to the end of the road ... and I figured since I run this far, maybe I'd run across the great state of Alabama and that's what I did ... I kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there ... might as well keep going ... when I got to another ocean ..." You get the picture.<br />
<br />
When he was asked for a reason, he said, "I just felt like running."<br />
<br />
I got you, Forrest.<br />
<br />
So, why today?<br />
<br />
Welp, two things happened to render the old flippy unacceptable.<br />
<br />
First, it stopped allowing me to open Group Chat text messages. In the past, when I received them, I could (painstakingly) open each, one at a time. I never saw pictures and all emojis showed up in the shape of a box, BUT I could read the text.<br />
<br />
About two weeks ago, all Group Chat messages became un-openable. I missed a few important messages and felt like a bad friend. I want to be a good friend, not a bad friend.<br />
<br />
Second, (and this one is super weird) something internally switched, so that whenever I'd hit "reply" to a message, it would send my text to my friend, Allie. No idea why. No idea why <i>her</i>. She's not the first contact. But every so often (everyday, multiple times a day), I'd forget to enter my info correctly, and she'd receive a text from me, intended for my gardening buddy, or making plans with my mom, or asking Mark to pick something up. She'd roll her eyes and text back "not for me."<br />
<br />
What patience! Y'all give her a round of applause.<br />
<br />
But so annoying for her, because, well, think about it. And so annoying for me, because texting (remember T9?) took some effort!<br />
<br />
It was time.<br />
<br />
Smartphone time. <br />
<br />
There were, of course, conditions. For now, I can access the weather app, camera, text messaging, FaceTime and GPS. (And also the calculator, alarm, et el.) Mark has blocked everything else, so it's like a dumb smartphone.<br />
<br />
We'll see.<br />
<br />
Friends, I've been using <i>a lot </i>of sobbing-face emojis today!<br />
<br />
I wrote all this, because it feels like a momentous occasion. It is not, in fact, a momentous occasion because, I am talking about cell phones. But cell phones rule our lives, it feels momentous, and I posted.<br />
<br />
<br />
Lesson Learned: The robots are winning.<br />
<br />
Enjoy a pic of me on a flip phone, circa 2006. You're welcome.<br />
<br />
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<br />Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-55508450012807353742017-05-22T14:15:00.000-05:002017-05-22T14:15:39.689-05:00Lesson 235: Mark's Garden 2017<a href="http://idonthaveacluebutimfindingout.blogspot.com/2012/04/lesson-3-manageable-home-gardening-one.html" target="_blank">If you had told the four-plant gardening novices of 2012</a> that just five years later, we'd be planting year-round crops, we would have laughed in your face.<br />
<br />
But friends, that's what this hobby has progressed to. Edible plants. All year.<br />
<br />
Now I'll try not to exaggerate <i>too</i> much about the winter's yieldings, seeing as our lettuce and spinach were enjoyed predominantly by the neighborhood squirrel population. And perhaps the baby broccoli's full-grown size isn't exactly what Mark had envisioned.<br />
<br />
But our greens mix did produce a variety of greens (none of which we could initially identify) and on one very exciting afternoon, our children discovered turnips in the bed. (Turns out that no, we don't like turnips.)<br />
<br />
All in all, not a complete disaster. Plants grew, and then they were eaten.<br />
<br />
Each gardening year we've grown a little: in size, ambition / determination, and well, skill.<br />
<br />
And so, though the first attempt of seasonal vegetables did not keep me from having to grocery shop, we're satisfied enough to try again next fall. Maybe squash and cabbage, beets, and next time, the correct species of broccoli.<br />
<br />
The spring seeds and bulbs went in sometime around March, so we've been eating fresh lettuce for over a month now, which makes me <i>happy! </i>Everyday. Every salad.<br />
<br />
And by the end of June, we'll picks carrots and harvest enough onions for the rest of summer.<br />
<br />
Finally, Mark has (yet again) rearranged his raised beds and put the summer plants in the ground. Zucchini, summer squash, cucumbers, corn, peppers, and oh so many tomatoes! He's also attempted to animal proof the corn (since those darn furry friends ate every kernel last summer!)<br />
<br />
As a family, we've adopted the pleasant pastime of chasing the bunnies across the yard with a rake, yelling wildly, and telling them to "get out of our garden!"<br />
<br />
Y'all, Mr. McGregor gets a bad rap, having to deal with all those greedy, unhelpful bunnies. We Ashbaughs empathize.<br />
<br />
A few pics for perusers and progeny.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6OfZI39InjZFA-Mq-MbFoQBYJdNM5C1ypCYHH8_CWhdKclzw8tlXCEBTlXVTfcys9rtnruuCgbcKF9I3wuABfrXIlA_xN-Uhy9rJkFXwHtvBgOT3vEH8mWEdpC7L8Aj-gnTnuDFg3ZzPh/s1600/IMG_9411.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6OfZI39InjZFA-Mq-MbFoQBYJdNM5C1ypCYHH8_CWhdKclzw8tlXCEBTlXVTfcys9rtnruuCgbcKF9I3wuABfrXIlA_xN-Uhy9rJkFXwHtvBgOT3vEH8mWEdpC7L8Aj-gnTnuDFg3ZzPh/s640/IMG_9411.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI4HElvxCe3opM-mO4moNjwIiyGMqjWW4goUnifO9IekeZLaWEREHbozq3bRzNSPPfG56Ww65wD-r7eux1FpGzumnKgOA6KkHsfXejrZYiBIfEgBxDpvVKdREMsT_v05tzGYLbQTQFIqrx/s1600/IMG_9408.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI4HElvxCe3opM-mO4moNjwIiyGMqjWW4goUnifO9IekeZLaWEREHbozq3bRzNSPPfG56Ww65wD-r7eux1FpGzumnKgOA6KkHsfXejrZYiBIfEgBxDpvVKdREMsT_v05tzGYLbQTQFIqrx/s640/IMG_9408.JPG" width="640" /></a><span style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">Also, Mark's passion has rubbed off a bit on me, and I've taken to it as well, with flower gardens. Maybe another post ... </span><span style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><br /></span><span style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">Lesson Learned: Everything really does taste better fresh.</span></span></div>
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Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-73930132670788986202017-01-02T10:13:00.001-06:002017-01-02T10:17:02.584-06:00Lesson 234: 2016 Book ListIn genereal, 2016 was a disappointing reading year. As I look back over the list, a few titles generate small excitement, but most were just time fillers. (Makes you want to keep reading, doesn't it?)<br />
<br />
One theme that emerged in the fiction category is that authors wrote from unusual vantage points or attempted to connect strange threads, I felt, unsuccessfully. At the Water's Edge followed wealthy New Yorkers on a search for the Loch Ness Monster during WWII. It was intriguing in some ways, but mostly just left me feeling like, what was that? Same with Beautiful Ruins. A local sop meets a movie star on an island, and then we're years later with this loser movie writer in California. What? I felt like the story was trying too hard. In the Unlikely Event, Judy Blume. Beautiful language, but also a strange setting, time, storyline.<br />
<br />
When I'm done with books like these, I throw them on the ground and groan, and Mark asks, "Why did you bother finishing it?" And I say, "I don't know," and then I go and scoop out a big bowl of ice cream. So, there's that.<br />
<br />
The big titles of the year fell flat for me also, maybe because of expectations and hype. Orphan Train. The Nightengale. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Hillbilly Elegy. All fine, nothing to talk about. Actually, Elegy is probably worth your time. I didn't love it, but read it anyway.<br />
<br />
A few highlights as I look over the list.<br />
<br />
This is Awkward by Sammy Rhoads is the kind of book that should be read once, and then kept around for reference. Each chapter is more uncomfortable than the next as Sammy tells personal stories about divorce, weight issues, struggles with pornography, and so on, and then, directly applies Gospel truth and hope to the situation. But, it's not cheesy. It's painful and good. I think most people will connect deeply with at least one "topic" and come away with fresh thoughts personally, but, will also benefit from reading the other chapters. His writing style encourages growth in empathy towards friends and family who struggle in ways I don't. It's helpful.<br />
<br />
The Art of Homemaking by Edith Schaffer is the most refreshing parenting book I've ever read. She begins with the simple question, What is art? A parenting book, asking about art?! It's the best. Then, in a very pre-internet way, she gives ideas for how a mother can express individual creativity in day to day tasks, through music, flower arranging, hospitality, decorating, food. It's not stressful though, I think partially because it is illustrated with drawings, not perfectly staged photos. Rather than showing exactly how things should be done, she gives suggestions that encourage personal reflection and drawing of conclusions. I loved it!<br />
<br />
I'll Drink to That was fun. It's the memoirs of a woman living and working in the fashion industry during a very glamorous time in Chicago and New York. House Thinking interested me, as it explained the ways sociology and economy affected each room of the house. A Severe Mercy is always great, though this was a repeat read for me.<br />
<br />
Y'all know it was a bad year when I'm mentioning repeats.<br />
<br />
Here's to 2017, and hopefully better selections.<br />
<br />
<br />
January<br />
<br />
* In the Unlikely Event by Judy Blume<br />
<br />
* The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo<br />
<br />
* For the Love by Jen Hatmaker<br />
<br />
<br />
February<br />
<br />
* A Spool of Blue Thread by Anne Tyler<br />
<br />
* Styled by Emily Henderson<br />
<br />
* The House on First Street: My New Orleans Story by Julia Reed<br />
<br />
* The Stories We Tell by Patti Callahan Henry<br />
<br />
<br />
March<br />
<br />
* Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter<br />
<br />
* This is Awkward by Sammy Rhoads<br />
<br />
* The Race to Paris: A Novel by Meg Waite Clayton<br />
<br />
* At the Water's Edge by Sara Gruen<br />
<br />
<br />
April<br />
<br />
* I'll Drink To That by Betty Halbreich and Rebecca Paley<br />
<br />
* Orphan Train: A Novel by Christina Baker Kline<br />
<br />
* House Thinking: A Room - By - Room Look at How We Live by Winifred Gallagher<br />
<br />
<br />
May<br />
<br />
* 7 by Jen Hatmaker<br />
<br />
* The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid by Bill Bryson<br />
<br />
* The Art of Homemaking by Edith Schaffer<br />
<br />
* Journey to Munich by Jacqueline Winspear<br />
<br />
<br />
June<br />
<br />
* A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken<br />
<br />
* The Madwoman Upstairs: A Novel by Catherine Lowell<br />
<br />
<br />
July<br />
<br />
* The Nightengale by Kristin Hannah<br />
<br />
* Harry Potter and the Sorcorer's Stone by J. K. Rowling<br />
<br />
<br />
August<br />
<br />
* Harry Potter and the Cursed Child by J. K. Rowling<br />
<br />
<br />
November<br />
<br />
* The Gilded Hour by Sara Donati<br />
<br />
<br />
December<br />
<br />
* Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance<br />
<br />
* Before We Visit the Goddess by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni<br />
<br />
* The Summer Before the War: A Novel by Helen Simonson<br />
<br />
<br />Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-2415236847822587592016-12-21T14:13:00.000-06:002016-12-21T21:07:59.650-06:00Lesson 233: The Before & After of Our House (Kitchen * Dining * Sitting)Without fail, the question asked by every person when first entering our house was, "Did you paint these cabinets yourself?"<br />
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My response. "No ... but I did buy a house with teal cabinets!"<br />
<br />
And we liked them. We really did. They were quirky and fun. They gave us immediate street cred with our college students, and when Friends appeared on Netflix, I felt all warm and fuzzy with nostalgia.<br />
<br />
(Monica's kitchen.)<br />
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So I want to be clear. Our kitchen renovation was not merely about replacing out some old, oddly colored cabinets. It was about so much more than that. To be quite honest, and perhaps a bit philosophical, it was about making a complete lifestyle change.<br />
<br />
The underlying thought process involved a few things.<br />
<br />
First, homes that feel the most welcoming include areas encouraging both refuge and opportunity. This is the reason some open concept houses intuitively work and why some feel stressful and overwhelming. People function best in spaces that provide both. In certain rooms, the goal is feel as if the opportunities are endless. These rooms are bright and big, and they give you the feeling that anything is possible. But in our homes, we do not want to be constantly inspired to think and dream and go. In fact, sometimes we need to actively rest. To retreat. To breath. To reflect.<br />
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The best homes, and buildings in general, offer both refuge and opportunity, with one important detail kept in mind. When you are in the place of rest, you want to be able to glimpse the opportunity. It keeps you from feeling stuck in a hole with nowhere to go. It keeps you from feeling claustrophobic. Similarly, while you're joyfully experimenting in the realm of opportunity, you want to see the place of refuge, knowing that if things get overwhelming, a relaxing place is close at hand.<br />
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This idea helped guide the process of opening up the walls in our house. With all this Fixer Upper-ing frenzy, people often feel like they need to knock every wall down. But our goal was to open up part of home, enabling us to host a large amount of people, but also remembering that most of the time, it's just our family of five living here. We need a smaller, cozier room to relax in.<br />
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Pushing further into the function aspect, I wanted to have ways to use our house when it's just the five of us. And as I mentioned, to be able to host a crowd.<br />
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Finally, we wanted to simplify and brighten!<br />
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The previous owners (who did paint the cabinets) had completed a hack job renovation of the kitchen. They had installed the weirdest plastic flooring. It was awful. For a backsplash, they used fake bead board, so particle board that was slowly growing mold. They had also hung a bunch of things from the particle board, but then had taken the items before they moved, so the particle board had holes all through it.<br />
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There were other issues that were not their fault (though when our electrician went in, their DIY light installation ended up costing us a pretty penny to fix!)<br />
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The ceilings were all different sizes of popcorn. There was an uncomfortable beam that hung down, when someone first opened up the kitchen into the dining room.<br />
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Someone (probably even further back) had knocked a hole in the wall into our playroom, but the pass-through went right by the stove. So, people would congregate in my kitchen, and the stove would be hot, and it was terribly nerve-racking.<br />
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And the flow of the house was just kind of confusing. Friends would come in the back door and stand by my sink (subsequently crowding the stove as well), and they never really knew where to go from there. They were stuck, because it was such a commitment to go into the playroom or even the dining room. Everyone always ended up crowding the kitchen.<br />
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The "pretty room" was off limits, so essentially one of our largest rooms was unusable to anyone but me.<br />
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It also felt dark. We had removed a huge florescent light in the kitchen during a first renovation, and the light from the new bathroom window helped some, but my kitchen was generally dark.<br />
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So, I created a new layout, found a phenomenal contractor, and the last week of July, Mark and I took our hammers to the walls ... and floor ... and cabinets!<br />
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Here are some demo photos. Mark did a lot of the work, but he didn't wear a shirt, so I'm not going to post those photos. It also makes it seem like I did the majority of the work!<br />
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I did clean out all the cabinets.<br />
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It wasn't really demo day, so much as demo night for us. We started working at 9 pm every night after the kids were already in bed. Blue Moon and 80's rock music. It was kind of fun, but mostly just a lot of work!</div>
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Heading to the dump with our kitchen in the back of the truck. Three trips to get it all out!<br />
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We broke a hammer. Sad.<br />
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Then we left for ten days in PA. While we were gone, the guys got to work and we came home to all the framing done.<br />
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Here's a few shots of how we lived during the mess. In the middle of this crazy, we hosted my brother for a few nights, fed 50 college students lunch, enjoyed the Summer Olympics, and started another school year.<br />
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These pictures stress me out! The first week of school, we had to be out of the house so the floors could be refinished. I came home one day to find eight subcontractors in my attic, under my house, out back, and in every other room. Installing proper smoke detectors. Venting the hood out the roof. Securing the new window. Fitting out the garbage disposals.<br />
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I was very overwhelmed. I called my friend and gave in to a nice long rant.<br />
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And then all of the sudden it was quiet. And my contractor come in to check it all out, and he said, "Well, it all works. Feel free to move back in."<br />
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Just like that, we were living in our new space.<br />
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If you waited this long, thank you. Part of this documentation is for our family memory! And now. Finally. Before and after photos!<br />
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Ashbaugh Kitchen Reno: 2016</div>
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Entering from the Carport:<br />
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Old Pretty Room / Now Dining Room:<br />
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From Old Pretty Room Looking Into Old Dining Room / New Sitting Room:<br />
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The Other Side of the Old Pretty Room / New Dining Room:<br />
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Dining Nook / New Sitting Room:<br />
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View from New Sitting Room:<br />
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Back Wall of Cabinets / New Everything:<br />
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Window Wall / Sink: (Currently covered with Christmas cards)<br />
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Another Angle:<br />
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A Galley Shot of the Windows:<br />
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<a href="http://idonthaveacluebutimfindingout.blogspot.com/2016/12/lesson-232-before-after-of-our-house.html" target="_blank">Towards The Laundry Room / Half Bath:</a><br />
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Sort of the Whole Thing:<br />
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Woah.<br />
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That was a lot of work. To plan. To execute. And to upload on the blog.<br />
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But WE LOVE IT!!!!<br />
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Most days, I have to pinch myself as a reminder that it's real. It's so pretty.<br />
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And it just works so well.<br />
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See those three barstools. That's where the 3 Ashbaugh kids eat their breakfast and lunch. And Mark (or I) stands on the other side and has access to the fridge, the stove, the pantry, and a sink. When people enter from the side, there is a natural flow into the larger space or into the playroom. We've hosted 30 people easily, and 50 (including 20 kids) when the weather enabled us to include the backyard.<br />
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There is SO MUCH LIGHT! At all times of day. In the morning. In the afternoon. And when the night falls, there are cans. It's just so bright!<br />
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I don't know what else to say, other than we are so grateful. Our contractor did an incredible job. He handed us a schedule on the day we signed our contract, and he stuck to it. In fact, he finished sooner than expected. His subcontractors were kind and detailed. We had a great experience!<br />
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And now, we get to live in it. And use it.<br />
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Lesson Learned: I don't think I should make any generalizations about renovating, but for us, A++++!!!!<br />
<br />Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-72245298392088480862016-12-21T09:35:00.001-06:002016-12-21T21:08:09.685-06:00Lesson 232: The Before & After of Our House (Laundry Room * Playroom)Mark and I became homeowners just over two years ago. After months of searching for perfect, we ended up landing on "checks a lot of important boxes" <i>and</i> <i>also</i> "super affordable" and signed the papers after only walking through one time.<br />
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In the future, I'll walk through multiple times to really get a feel for the place (and look out for cheap DIY projects, grrr), but alas, first-time buyers.<br />
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Our house is great for a few reasons. The house itself is a 1960's ranch, and as every contractor who's come through has told us, "it's built well." What a refreshing phrase! Built well. I like that.<br />
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Our neighborhood is established, mature trees, quiet, mostly retired neighbors, minimal traffic. As homes have turned over, a few younger families have moved in, and so though we don't have many neighbors our age, we really like the ones who are here.<br />
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Our backyard is flat, fenced in, and what I like to call, quirky. There are shady spots and sunny spots. A garden. A playground. A dirt pit. A shed. A concrete slab. It's all very flexible, and we are able to host different sizes of groups, all ages back there. It's not the Bethel property, but it is nice.<br />
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Inside, the description of the house surprises me. Friends come over for the first time, wanting the tour, and I'm usually a tad overwhelmed by just how much has changed inside since we moved in. We never intended to overhaul her, but have just steadily chipped away at things, and the result is that she looks a whole lot different than when we bought her.<br />
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Before moving in, we ripped the built in glass door off the shower, took a plastic built in desk out of Ford's room, removed plastic shelving from Samara's rooms, repainted all the closets, refinished all the floors in the bedrooms, and just walked around removing random plastic items attached to the walls.<br />
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We also set ourselves up on a regular bug-removal system. Every three months, a friendly fellow comes and sprays. Y'all, I hate cockroaches. Cute names don't fool us Northerners turned Southerners. Bleh. This was literally the most important item on my list!<br />
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Because most of the fun stuff has occurred on the front end of the house, that's where this tour will take us, but a few comments about the back of the house. Both Ford and Samara have had beadboard installed in their bedrooms, every bedroom but one has been painted, ceiling fans changed out, closets customized. We've made some changes to the main bathroom and still need to fix the holes in the walls I put in the kids' bathroom. Yikes! Maybe when all that's complete, I'll get it up here.<br />
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But for now, if you've made it this far, you're ready for the pics of the front.<br />
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A while back, I posted the beginning of the process of renovating our laundry room. (<a href="http://idonthaveacluebutimfindingout.blogspot.com/2015/04/lesson-211-visualization.html?spref=fb" target="_blank">Here</a> and <a href="http://idonthaveacluebutimfindingout.blogspot.com/2015/05/lesson-216-holes-in-my-house.html?spref=fb" target="_blank">here</a>.) I thought'd it become a thing, but it never became a thing, and you've never seen the end result. Sorry.<br />
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Alright, here it is.<br />
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Before:<br />
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This is the day we moved in. You'll notice the open door. That is how we enter the house most days, from the carport. Immediately to the right was our small laundry closet. Two sets of bi-fold doors, a space for the washer / dryer, and some cabinets. You'll also notice the teal cabinet in the bottom left, signifying this closet was just off our kitchen.<br />
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Behind this white wall is a bricked in storage closet, which is accessible through a door in the carport.<br />
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These photos are from after living here a while. Actually, these photos are from the day before demo! (And from the day we returned from Summer Conference.) As you can see, in real life, laundry went everywhere! Welcome home, Ashbaughs.<br />
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After:<br />
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We blew right through that white wall, leveled the floor, created a functional laundry space with storage, hooks, organization, and continued back to add a window ... and a half-bath! Before we installed this bathroom, the only accessible bathroom for guests was in the back of the house, and it's Mark's and mine. With all the people we have in and out of our house, this option is way better!<br />
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Hooks. A shoe basket. A shelf for Mark's current books. A random basket for dirty dish towels (and for when children change at the front of the house). With regular upkeep, this spot stays relatively organized.<br />
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This photo is meant to show you how both sides of the room relate to each other. In the small nook to the left, we keep our laundry detergent. There's just enough room to access the appliances, pull clothes from the dryer, fold them, and turn slightly to the right to stack them on the counter.<br />
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This is the small storage side. There's a 4 foot cabinet, with room for the laundry baskets to fit underneath. The small door is where Mark keeps his briefcase.<br />
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The nook with the yellow stool has our ironing board (which is never used), a broom, and if I had an upright vacuum (which I don't), it could fit in there.<br />
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And this is the small, <i>bright</i>, half-bathroom!<br />
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Y'all, this room is so wonderful that we forget about life in the before. The black door on the left leads to the backyard, so my dirty children can come in from outside to use the restroom, without tracking mud all through the house. They can change from their wet things immediately when coming in from play. It's really just wonderful!<br />
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Also on this time around, we made some changes to our playroom. I'm not sure how to describe this room other than as an uncomfortable cave. The floor was peeling, brown linoleum. The only natural light came in through some door windowpanes. The fireplace was a shockingly cold white. And the whole place just sort of smelled, maybe like it had been a dog's domain? The paint color was fine, but dark. And the ceiling was just kind of gross. Also, a massive light/fan hung from the ceiling, making the room feel smaller. As Mark says, "I hated being in that room."<br />
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Before:<br />
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I also must have hated this room, because there are not very many before photos.<br />
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There's that fan!<br />
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After:<br />
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The absolutely most important change we made to this room was adding a window! The biggest window we could fit. We also repainted the fireplace a softer white, added a mantle, and removed the metal surround. (No, we don't currently use the fireplace. I know you wanted to ask.) We painted the walls and ceiling, changed out the ceiling fan, and installed the softest, most kid-friendly carpet in the whole world. I'm not kidding, little Ford pooped on this rug the first week and I just wiped it right up. No stains at all! We also splurged for the memory foam carpet pad underneath. It's very comfortable to lay on this floor, and with the amount of wrestling matches that occur in here, it's necessary.<br />
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Because it's Christmas time, there is a Christmas tree in the photos. Normally, we don't have a Christmas, but another chair.<br />
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And the other side of the room, even though there are no before photos.<br />
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So, now we spend a lot of time in here. It's kind of quaint and cosy feeling. Clean. Soft. Comfortable. There's not much the kids can break. And though it's not huge, we've fit 20 college students in here at once, so it totally works!<br />
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We lived with and were content with these changes for a full year. But then summer came, and I got restless?! Excited?! Motivated?! Whatever the word is, I got bit by the renovating bug again and this time tackled the big one ... a complete overhaul of our kitchen, dining, and "pretty room."<br />
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This post has gotten long enough though, so I'll leave you here, waiting on the edge of your seat for the next installment of those photos! Hopefully before next December?!<br />
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Lesson Learned: That bathroom though ...Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-54665196120919933932016-06-03T10:06:00.000-05:002016-06-03T15:42:27.552-05:00Lesson 231: A Year After Getting Rid of All the ClothesIt's been a year since <a href="http://idonthaveacluebutimfindingout.blogspot.com/2015/06/lesson-218-my-journey-of-style-and.html" target="_blank">sharing my magnus opus of fashion in blog form</a> and then,<a href="http://idonthaveacluebutimfindingout.blogspot.com/2015/06/lesson-219-22-items-of-clothing-30.html" target="_blank"> ahh, succumbing myself to posting pictures of me wearing clothes. </a>All very strange!<br />
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Since then, there's been no talk of fashion on here for two reasons. 1. It's not like I post regularly anyway. But also, 2. I haven't thought about clothes much this year.<br />
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Translation: the concept worked.<br />
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After devoting a week or so, thinking intentionally about the clothes I own and how they work together in multiple ways, I spent the rest of the summer, well, wearing them. Occasionally, I'd think of something revolutionary that would inject life and love into the rotation, like white denim or a leather tote, and I'd confidently make the purchase and quickly begin wearing said garment.<br />
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It's been fun and frankly, stress-free.<br />
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Soon after posting my own content on a paired down wardrobe, my favorite blogger and inspiration gave up blogging for the year. She felt she had said her message and was ready to do something new. In that time, she loosened up her own standards, allowing the capsule wardrobe to work for her life, growing and shrinking as needed.<br />
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Currently, she's blogging again, having moved in the direction of ethical fashion (which if you follow any of this stuff is a natural progression) and i<a href="http://www.un-fancy.com/my-capsule-wardrobes/style-series-summer-2016/" target="_blank">n a recent post, she reflected. </a><br />
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Even though capsule wardrobes got super trendy last year (almost a little too trendy, if I’m allowed to say that), I’m still fascinated by them.</div>
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<span class="s1" style="box-sizing: inherit;">Creating a strong style concept through a small, thoughtful collection of clothes? I don’t know why, but I love it.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="box-sizing: inherit;">I learned so much about my style and myself from my capsule experiment, and I’ve been wanting to explore the concept in a less structured way — something practical that honors the heart of it while being free to flow as life changes.</span></div>
Her thoughts got me thinking about the whole idea of capsule wardrobes and pairing down one's wardrobe, and I've concluded that serious thought, cleaning out, and purposeful purchasing are practices that are especially useful for women going through life transitions. It's beneficial for graduating college students to rework their wardrobes as they move into a life of full-fledged adulthood. The way they spend their time changes, and so their clothing needs naturally change as well. A similar transition occurs as a young woman moves into motherhood. It's a strange time in numerous ways, a strangeness that is amplified by feeling uncomfortable in one's entire set of clothing. Such emotional and situational changes occur every five to ten years. Life looks different. <a href="http://idonthaveacluebutimfindingout.blogspot.com/2014/07/lesson-190-why-i-dont-want-to-turn-30.html" target="_blank">I mean y'all, 30 was a big deal!</a><br />
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At times like this, a new shirt simply doesn't cut it.<br />
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Hard-lined clean-out is most beneficial during these times of transition. Get rid of everything associated with the old life patterns and attitudes. Think freshly about the adventures and trials ahead.<br />
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And get fitted for it.<br />
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Pairing down and thinking strategically allows the space to identify real needs, and then to slowly and wisely meet them.<br />
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But this summer, my life looks a lot like it did last summer. I spend time with the same people, frequent the same places, and do the same activities. I don't need a whole new set of clothes. The ones I have, the ones I bought for this particular season of life, are working out great!<br />
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I still vaguely am following the trends, and am considering, very hesitantly the move back to wider leg pants. I'm more interested in black than I have been in a while, and it's officially the color of my toes this season.<br />
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I took the plunge and bought a high waisted bathing suit.<br />
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But these are all just small details. (Ones I'm sure many of you are rolling your eyes at.)<br />
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For the most part, I'm just wearing what I'm wearing. And it's working. No purging this summer. No shopping sprees this summer. Just life.<br />
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Lesson Learned: Perhaps "the capsule wardrobe" reboot is more of a life-stage change event than an annual habit.<br />
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<br />Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-82877584847406340202016-04-25T20:11:00.000-05:002016-04-25T21:07:47.098-05:00Lesson 230: These Senior Girls (Heart Emoji)For some reason, I've been thinking a lot about feminism lately. It could be the seemingly unending search to find the roots of the perfectionism phenomenon taking out my generation of mamas. It could be that a book I recently read pointed out the correlation between the increased prominence of women in society and the importance of the kitchen. Think about the woman's movement and home trends through the decades. Our kitchens just keep getting bigger!<br />
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It could be Hilary. </div>
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Regardless, last night when RUF at Winthrop celebrated our graduating seniors, I couldn't help but think about feminism, which honestly is kind of annoying. Let me explain. </div>
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I sat looking around the room at a group of truly beautiful women, all dressed up, glowing really. They were smiling and chatting, taking pictures together, giving hugs and making sad faces about leaving each other, but also possessing an inward assurance that it was time to move on. As hard as leaving is, they are ready for what is next. They're prepared.</div>
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And though their talk included the standard "I don't know what I'm going to do when I graduate" line, the tone didn't carry anxiety as much as anticipation. (Though some anxiety for sure.)</div>
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During the speeches, where we all get to say the wonderful and embarrassing contributions each has made to the ministry, I was overcome for a moment by the incredible femininity that was represented in our group. </div>
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Seeing them together, collected as a set, I was amazed by how perfectly this group represents everything good that's come from the feminist movement. The parts of the dialogue that ultimately reflect Scripture and the ways in which the Lord, our creator, sees his beloved daughters. </div>
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These women are smart and strong and beautiful. They are quiet and calm, they are energetic and powerful. They can command a room, gather a crowd, welcome outsiders in large ways. They are slow to speak, but quick to listen. They are faithful, loving friends. They desire to know the Lord in sweeter ways, to study his Word, and they are blown away by the truth they find. They tell their stories to each other, weep together, and pray. They create art that so perfectly captures the complexity of life that it makes you cry. They are funny, in sophisticated and playful ways. They care deeply for children and for education, and they are good at what they do. They're humble and willing and open. They are not afraid. </div>
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And they are all so different from each other. </div>
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As I sat and thought about the ways I've grown from knowing each of our seniors, I was struck that the important thoughts I had about one student were different than the ones I had concerning another. I loved each for the person she is and the gifts she brought to our group. </div>
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I didn't expect the introvert, kind soul to stand up front and pray for the masses. I wasn't sad that our natural gatherer wasn't moving sound equipment for the music team. I was grateful for their differences and within the microcosm of our little ministry, I could see so clearly why they were all essential. </div>
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I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the various manifestations of the Lord's grace in these women, and I was so excited to envision the ways they would love and serve him throughout the course of their lives in the church. </div>
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And it made me think of my sweet friends, ten years ahead of this group, with our thoughts of perfectionism and our anxiety about doing everything as well as everyone else. </div>
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And I just thought, y'all, we need to relax. I need to relax. </div>
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We're not called to all be the same. We're called to bring what we have and to gratefully offer it up to the Lord for his use. And to rest in his goodness. </div>
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And to be grateful, because we are loved. </div>
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Lesson Learned: "As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. "Truly I tell you," he said, "this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on." - Luke 21:1-4</div>
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Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-34134937988905872262016-04-18T21:31:00.001-05:002016-04-18T21:31:44.588-05:00Lesson 229: Baby EncoreAlone tonight while Mark was at various RUF small groups, I ended up on a familiar internet train. It begins with a beloved hymn, which leads to another, which invariably leads to Sandra McCracken from some season of life, which inevitably leads me to reading old blog posts and reminiscing about life ... ten years ago, four years ago, last month.<br />
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Oh time! How you consistently show me the ways I've changed and remind me consistently of how I'm the same.<br />
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Where did I launch from tonight? Well, I heard a nuanced sermon on Sunday. It reminded me of my great desire to <i>clearly </i>teach the word of God. To be careful. To say true things and to not say false things, explicitly or implicitly. It reminded me again of why I so desperately want to teach, and why it's ok for me to listen to others.<br />
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Tonight my internet train took me to the past blog posts about seminary, and though I thought I'd arrive to hear all about the greatness of learning and my past desire to serve, I was struck by the narrative on babies. On my babies. On the massive space my children occupied during seminary.<br />
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They were there. And they were crucial to our time there.<br />
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I forget now, because all of our seminary friends have babies, and more babies, and more pregnancies. At the time, it was mostly just us. It was this thing that set us apart, made us different and unique, but also it was something we didn't talk about much. We always brought our children and our friends loved our children, but we never talked a ton about being parents.<br />
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And maybe, because our first friendships developed as parents didn't revolve around being parents, we thought we had escaped that world. We thought, we can really have it all. Marriage, children, intellectual stimulation, deep friendship. Woah! We're killing it.<br />
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And then, for us, time passed. Mark received his first call. I became a "full time" stay-at-home-mom. I attacked the task with the same drive and passion as I had attacked seminary, neglecting to realize one simple fact. In seminary, the content of study was the Bible, aka, the word of truth.<br />
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At home, the content of study was, well mortal. It was a house. And finances. And closets. And meal plans. And scheduling.<br />
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And without realizing what I was doing, I ended up feeding myself a sub-par diet.<br />
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It's very sneaky.<br />
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You start out thinking you are reading harmless content, about say, emptying your closets. You read one blog post. Then another. She links to a blogger you relate to easier. You read that blogger's entire blog. And all her friends. Some click. Some don't. But you keep reading. You keep reading. Day after day. You incorporate some of what you read. You discard other things. You read and you read and you read.<br />
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One day, you wake up depressed about your own closets.<br />
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You can't live up to the expectation on an everyday mom. An everyday homemaker.<br />
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This January I went to a women's retreat, all girls around my own age and stage. I was placed in a random prayer group. 3 out of the 4 of us were reading or actively seeking copies of the book "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up."<br />
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None of us felt like our homes were in order. All of us felt like a mess. And a failure.<br />
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And it made me sit up straight. It made me think. It concerned me.<br />
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Because in front of me were orderly, lovely, caring women. They were incredible mothers and wives. And yet, all of us had this nagging feeling that we were doing something wrong. Our homes were ... less than.<br />
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As I spoke about in my last post, the winter was creeping in. And the strain of "keeping a home" was part of it.<br />
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Though the thoughts ran in impossible and interesting directions, one striking realization was that I had been feeding myself a steady diet of perfectionism. All day, everyday, trying to become the "perfect" homemaker. Everything about the station was so far from my set of gifting and yet, I was thoroughly convinced of its importance. Raising children. Keeping a home. Being hospitable. Loving neighbors. Caring for the local school and the local church. These are admirable and worthy pursuits.<br />
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And yet, when you read what every single person has to say about the subject, you forget that it is individuals writing. You connect what they are saying, and create this entirely superficial standard.<br />
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"This" is what "every" woman does.<br />
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Whatever it is!<br />
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All women: find a perfect spouse, have beautiful children, create a safe, natural, organic, interesting environment that's welcoming to in-laws, neighbors, friends, and strangers. They frequent local institutions, feeding their family healthy food choices, while maintaining the exact balance of in-the-worldness but not of-the-worldness. They pass on values of music, art, history, architecture, gardening, relationship. They engage with the local school, church, sports programs, library, and farmers market, but they do not overwhelm their children, because kids today have too much going on. Their kids can swim, throw a ball, ride a bike, read, write in their journals, participate in all community fun runs, but they can also "just be kids" in an unstructured environment.<br />
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These awesome women also have a vibrant life of their own. They have a group of dear friends, both "Girls' Night" friends and "Couples Nights" friends. They have time for mentors, because older women and their advice is essential. They have time for younger women, because my goodness we need to love these girls as they transition into adulthood. They have "peers" because seriously, who understands what we are going through during this insane generation other than us. They maintain impeccable relationships with their high school, college, and graduate friends, because ... no one really "gets us" unless they were there with us when that particular important life event occurred.<br />
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Our houses are perfect. Our clothes represent us. We are clean. And healthy. We exercise and watch the right shows, we have sex regularly, and we are so damn happy!<br />
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And you know where I'm going with this.<br />
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With how fake it is. With the facade. And the exhaustion. And the, I just can't do it all-ness.<br />
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But tonight. Reading over my old posts. My younger, less sad, less stressed self.<br />
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I was reminded of something so true. And so forgotten.<br />
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When I found out I was pregnant with Samara, one month after I married Mark, his immediate, juvenile, yet faithful response, was that the Lord knew we <i>needed </i>Samara for the life he had prepared for us, for the ministry he had prepared for us.<br />
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It was so unexpected. And we were so young.<br />
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And our only thoughts could go towards God's sovereignty and faithfulness in our lives.<br />
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But now we're tired. And stressed out. And overwhelmed. And confused.<br />
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At this stage in life, would a pregnancy seem like such a bestowing of God's goodness in our lives? Like such a complete identifier of his plan in our lives?<br />
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Or would it feel like a burden? Like a weight to be bourne? Like something else to carry? Something else to bare up under?<br />
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What has changed?<br />
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The gift given or the way in which we receive it?<br />
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Mark and I are not pregnant with another child. But that doesn't mean we don't think about it, and sometimes, I'm incredibly saddened by the way I know we would respond to another child in our lives.<br />
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A gift from God? An apparent prerequisite for ministry?<br />
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On my goodness, no!<br />
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Another four years at home. Another three years of diapers. So many diapers! Two years of physical misery ... first with the pregnancy, then with the nursing. Guilt about hating nursing, but being able to do it, so cherishing it, because other mothers can't. Guilt because you can get pregnant and complain about it, while your friends can't get pregnant in the first place. Guilt. Guilt. Love. Love. Joy. Hatred. Peace. Discord. Body amazement. Body hatred. On and on and on.<br />
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It used to be so simple.<br />
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And so the question remains.<br />
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How have I changed? How am I consistently the same?<br />
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If I received this news: Katherine, you are pregnant.<br />
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How would I feel? What would I think?<br />
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There would be terror. Real terror.<br />
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I'd replay all the reasons I'm incapable.<br />
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My daughter does her week's homework on Thursday nights and never before. She should probably be further along in reading, but we are not consistent at home. My son needs a haircut, but I just can't sustain the battle and so, we're living in the "long hair is masculine" land. My baby has a rash on his mouth. He's been to the pediatrician. He's had medication, but at the end of the day, he likes to eat dirt. Do I helicopter mom or deal with the red dots?<br />
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Both.<br />
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Another one?<br />
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A gift from God?<br />
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My goodness.<br />
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Do you know some of my best friends still have not embarked on their journeys as mothers? Do you know I've been doing this for over 7 years? Do you know I have at least 18 years ahead of me? Do you know I think about college savings (529 plans) everyday? Do you know I want to buy a painting for my bedroom that sings to my soul and no one else sees?<br />
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This is life.<br />
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When we are young, when we graduate seminary, when we begin having children, when we first start our households, we are so excited about the potential to do good things. To welcome. To love. To care. To invest.<br />
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And then we start doing it. And we get tired. And we pray. And we develop wisdom.<br />
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The constant?!?!<br />
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The Lord leaves us never.<br />
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And we listen to our Sandra McCraken. And our hymns. And our theology.<br />
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And we remember that God's grace is sufficient regardless. God's grace is sufficient always.<br />
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Always.<br />
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Always.<br />
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And baby or no baby, God's grace is always sufficient.<br />
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Always.<br />
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Lesson Learned: Always.Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-87787966365423157052016-03-21T21:10:00.001-05:002016-03-21T23:28:22.922-05:00Lesson 228: Feeling Like MyselfThis afternoon, sun streaming through the windows over the kitchen sink, found me dancing to Bob Dylan in a way reminiscent of my jam band days. Barefoot. Open. Happy.<br />
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It's been a while, I must say. </div>
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Winter has been long this year. I mean that both environmentally and emotionally. It's felt dark in here. Cold. Hopeless, maybe. </div>
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The more mama friends I talk to, the more articles I read, the more I realize I'm not the only one. And that helps some, but it's still hard. It's still sad. It still brings on guilt and fear. Why can't I just feel better? Why does this small task overwhelm me so consistently? Why is he being so sweet to me when I'm such a mess? Why is this house a bigger mess than I am? Do I need more vitamin d? More sleep? (Duh.) More spinach? Less on the calendar? Fewer commitments? Fewer people? Another shower? Another episode of Friends?</div>
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Oh my, there are so many people and so much to do and so many things left undone. </div>
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And so many things I don't want to do. </div>
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And remember when there used to be things that I wanted to do? What were those again? </div>
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The past few months have been one confused, foggy mess. There's been sickness, and loss, and the stomach bug. There's been quiet and way too much noise. There's been more travel than my washing machine could handle, more dirty clothes than my heart could handle, and more help with laundry from my husband than a girl deserves. There's been conflict unresolved and sorting and there's been a ridiculous GOP presidential primary. I mean, seriously America?!?</div>
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Rather than freaking out and trying to <i>fix</i> <i>this</i>, I've taken the slower, more patient approach. I've allowed myself grace to sleep in when Mark is happy to let me. I've read and written and listened to music and gone to bed still questioning. I've moved an oriental rug under the dining table, so I can ignore the crumbs that fall three times a day like clockwork. </div>
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I've tried to incorporate better habits. No late-night Netflix. No intense content in the evening. No blogs selling perfection. Less coffee. More water. More salads. Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. Vitamins. Walks when I feel up to it. Playdates when I feel up to it. Honesty with friends. Honesty with my pastor. </div>
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It helps some, but there are still moments of terror when I think, what if I feel like this forever? I'm not used to being sad. And I'm certainly not used to not being able to explain it.</div>
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And yet, this past week some light broke through in surprising ways. </div>
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My dear grandma passed away, and I went home, sans children, for the funeral. It sounds like a strange place for such peace to come, but for the first time since becoming a mother seven years ago, I was back with my people, with my 10 aunts and uncles, who spent my childhood telling me I was beautiful, with my 22 cousins, who are the funniest, most interesting people I've ever met, and with my legendary grandpa, who loves his wife and family more than any man I know.</div>
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When you are in the dark places, it's so easy to feel alone. To feel like no one else has ever gone through this. To feel like no one understands you. </div>
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One day spent in our family's home, lovingly and appropriately called "The Big House," and I went to bed feeling fuller than I had in years. I belly-aching laughed, again and again and again. I told and heard stories, and I felt incredibly known. I lay there long into the night thinking, what is this? </div>
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I circled the stories and the conversations, and eventually, I landed on this one thought. </div>
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I'm a Manning. </div>
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I know that sounds ridiculous, but it was this profound moment for me. I thought about these people, my relations, who live all across America, who've lived vastly different lives than me, and I just was amazed by the ways we are so incredibly similar. </div>
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We work puzzles in the middle of a crowd. We talk trash, like a whole lot of trash. We agree more than we argue about politics. We are literally the best story tellers on the face of the planet. We laugh as hard as we cry. We have kind hearts, but sometimes can be assholes. (I'm sorry, but there really is no other word for it.) We love art and music and theater. We care about food, as in there needs to be enough, but we're not snobby about it. Except pizza. We're snobby about pizza. We tell each other what to do, or else, are annoyed at how much everyone tells each other what to do. We love live piano music. We dance in the kitchen. We introvert and extrovert. We forgive.</div>
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During the hours of being in the house, just being, as you do together when a loved one passes, a few of us realized that my uncle and dad's old vinyls were hanging out on the third floor, collecting dust. </div>
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Literally. There was so much dust!</div>
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My twin cousins, freshmen in college, and I are both new to the record world, and so we all spent the afternoon digging through a goldmine. Beatles. Allman Brothers. Sly and the Family Stone. The Stones. Hall and Oates. Eric Clapton. What didn't they have? Seriously, who knew my dad was so cool back in the day? </div>
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The "old people" spent the afternoon reminiscing, and the "young(ish) people" spent the afternoon exclaiming over our good fortune. The three of us divided the collection with more joy than I can even explain. It was as if we all thought, I can't believe I'm even getting <i>one</i> of these albums. Everything else is a bonus. </div>
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As we poured over the music, the rest of the family wandered through the hidden closets of the third floor, uncovered other buried treasures, stowed away for who knows how long. We face-timed my children to build up their excitement over the new albums coming home. My aunt, who taught me to play hopscotch at a wedding years ago, chatted with my daughter. Samara laughed. </div>
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It was beautiful. And safe. And I felt at home. I felt like myself. </div>
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My grandma's service was perfect. The gospel was preached, full of clarity and hope. My grandma, Marie, attended mass every single day. She was known and loved by her church family, and so her priest spoke of her child-like wonder and her wisdom with love. And he spoke of the joy and peace she is now experiencing with the Lord, joy and peace that will be hers for eternity. </div>
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Others spoke of her hospitality, her never ending love, her faithfulness, her faith, her gracious heart and gracious home, her love for beauty, her kindness. </div>
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At one point, my uncle said, "God put her in the Big House to do her work." To do his work. </div>
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Mamas, is there a more satisfying thought? </div>
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Returning home to my babies and my husband was easy. Mark was patient with the weight of the emotions from the weekend and with my struggle to adjust to daylight savings time. A sweet friend had prepared enough enchiladas and caesar salad to feed us for the week. And the sun shone for six days straight. </div>
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The final episode of the Bachelor (#TeamLaurenB) and the start of March Madness (#seriouslyMichiganState) were fun too.</div>
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Saturday Night, Mark surprised me with a date. Tacos at our new favorite Mexican hole-in-the-wall followed by an intimate concert, Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors. The setting was an old, beautiful, high school auditorium. With a few friends and folks of all ages from the town, we enjoyed a simple show. Hearty singing. Flawless execution. We sat and peacefully soaked in truth, and my heart was warmed. </div>
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One song in particular struck me. It's called Ain't Nobody Got It Easy. It alludes to many sources of suffering from sin to comparison to family, and the conclusion is just as the title suggests. Ain't nobody got it easy.</div>
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As I listened to his song, I sat and thought over the pain of just one week. Of the loss of a wife and mother and grandmother. Of the loss of a baby. Of the loss of a job. Of a battle with cancer. Of a triumph over cancer. Of another, slower, painful, heartbreaking battle with cancer. Of sadness over sin and brokenness. Of a tangled web of sin and sadness and brokenness. </div>
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Of a winter of confusion, of cold, of sadness. </div>
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And I thought, we really are more similar than we realize. We're not all Manning's. (Please, you can only hope.) But, there is comfort in the story of humanity. Life is hard. Ain't nobody got it easy.</div>
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And I was profoundly grateful for grace. </div>
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And I felt like myself. </div>
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It's Easter Week, friends. In a few days, we'll celebrate the resurrection of Jesus from the grave. We'll celebrate life. We'll celebrate redemption. </div>
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And in the midst of the mess that still <i>is</i>, it gives us a reason to dance. </div>
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Lesson Learned: Grace, for others and for ourselves. </div>
Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-12568042156038721992016-01-21T13:24:00.000-06:002016-01-21T13:24:04.811-06:00Lesson 227: 2015 Book ListIt's time for a post on my 2015 reading! If you've read any of these posts in the past, you know there is not great forethought put into my selections. Books find their way into my hands through effective library displays and Mark's discerning eye. This year was no different, and so I found myself reading a lot of World War stories, a lot of Southern fiction, and a whole lot of decorating books! Even still, looking over the list, I had a some bright spots, so allow me a few comments.<br />
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First and foremost, 2015 will go down as the year that I read the Maisie Dobbs series. A random pick in January opened me up to a story of a woman, an investigator and psychologist, that I ended up following for the duration of the year. Maisie's stories are set fifteen years after WWI and have to do with the various effects of the war on society years later, as well as the ways the first world war planted seeds for the second. To be honest, even though I read the entire series and am looking forward to the newest one coming out in March, I am not sure I would recommend this to everyone. I was drawn to Maisie, partially because she is a methodical worker. She dresses carefully, eats warm soup and crusty bread for dinner, and ends her evenings by the fire with a cup of tea and her thoughts. There's a part of me that thinks I was so drawn to Maisie's character because of her discipline and simplicity in the midst of a chaotic career. Sounds familiar ... a longing for order in the midst of crazy! Try her, or don't. You may love her, or you may find her a bit boring. On my end, I am sad that my year with Maisie is over.<br />
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Another set of books I'd like to highlight are what I'll call the "Balance Books" of my year. I don't think I sought this type of book on purpose, but I'm sure I found the recommendations from blogs I regularly read, and well, turns out I read a lot about balance. My favorite of the set was The Nesting Place by Myquillyn Smith. In the midst of books and blogs encouraging women to create perfect, showpiece homes, this book enters in with reality and rest. She encourages readers to consider seriously the function and goals of a home, not a house. She never downplays the importance of beauty within the home, but she just injects sanity to the pursuit of it. It was quick read and offered needed perspective. Stacey London, star of What Not to Wear, does something similar in her book, The Truth About Style. Y'all, I loved it! She recognizes that clothes cannot save us, but that psychologically they can help move people in positive directions. Again, short and sweet. And finally, Shauna Niequist covers hospitality and cooking in her book, Bread and Wine. This one is more short stories with complementary recipes, and I did not read it in one sitting, but over a few months. She speaks of opening your home to nourish bodies and souls, not to impress. I'm not 100% sold on all her theologizing, but her main point is refreshing. The theme of these types of books is a powerful one. There is nothing wrong with desiring to have a nice home, look your best, and serve people with care, but perfectionism will kill you.<br />
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A few more thoughts. Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari was an intriguing look at the ways people are entering into and functioning in relationships these days, though I found it a bit redundant and not as funny as expected. My Life in Paris by Julia Child was inspiring and made me want to simultaneously travel, cook, and eat. Finally, if you have know idea what to do with your life, I highly recommend Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung. That guy shoots straight!<br />
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Now, onto the list. Feel free to comment with titles you think I should check out in this new year.<br />
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Happy Reading, y'all!<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>January:</b><br />
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* Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George<br />
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* Maisie Dobbs by Jacqueline Winspear<br />
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<b>February:</b><br />
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* Palmetto Moon by Kim Boykin<br />
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* The New Rules of Real Estate by Spencer Rascoff and Stan Humphries<br />
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<b>March:</b><br />
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* The Unfortunate Importance of Beauty by Amanda Filipacchi<br />
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* My Life in Paris by Julia Child<br />
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* Dollbaby: A Novel by Laura Lane McNeal<br />
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<b>April:</b><br />
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* The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom<br />
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* Birds of a Feather by Jacqueline Winspear<br />
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* Charleston by Margaret Bradham Thornton<br />
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* The Girl on Legare Street by Karen White<br />
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* Pardonable Lies by Jacqueline Winspear<br />
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<b>May:</b><br />
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* Operation Mincemeat by Ben Macintyre<br />
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* Messenger of Truth by Jacqueline Winspear<br />
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* An Incomplete Revenge by Jacqueline Winspear<br />
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* Among the Mad by Jacqueline Winspear<br />
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* Fall of the Giants by Ken Follett<br />
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<b>June:</b><br />
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* Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God's Will by Kevin DeYoung<br />
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* The Truth About Style by Stacy London<br />
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* The Strangers on Montagu Street by Karen White<br />
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* Yes Please by Amy Poehler<br />
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* The Mapping of Life and Death by Jacqueline Winspear<br />
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<b>July:</b><br />
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* A Lesson in Secrets by Jacqueline Winspear<br />
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* Overdressed: The Surprisingly High Cost of Cheap Fashion by Elizabeth L. Cline<br />
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<b>August:</b><br />
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* Nursery Style: Creating Beautiful Rooms for Children by Annie Sloan and Felicity Bryan<br />
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* Domino: The Book of Decorating by Deborah Needleman, Sara Ruffin Costello and Dara Caponigro<br />
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* Home Rules by Nate Berkus<br />
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* Bread and Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table by Shauna Niequist<br />
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* The Things That Matter by Nate Berkus<br />
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* The Nesting Place by Myquillyn Smith<br />
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* Aunt Dimity's Death by Nancy Atherton<br />
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* Elements of Style: Designing A Home & A Life by Erin Gates<br />
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<b>September:</b><br />
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* Elegy for Eddie by Jacqueline Winspear<br />
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<b>October:</b><br />
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* Aunt Dimity and the Duke by Nancy Atherton<br />
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<b>November:</b><br />
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* Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari<br />
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* The Speechwriter: A Brief Education in Politics by Barton Swaim<br />
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<b>December:</b><br />
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* Leaving Everything Most Loved by Jacqueline Winspear<br />
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* Absolutely Beautiful Things by Anna Spiro<br />
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* A Dangerous Place by Jacqueline WinspearKatherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-31446950797356473612015-12-11T21:13:00.000-06:002015-12-11T21:13:16.119-06:00Lesson 226: Christmas in the Pretty Room... because I'm sitting here enjoying this room, and it just looks s'darn pretty.<br />
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<a href="http://idonthaveacluebutimfindingout.blogspot.com/2015/03/lesson-204-evolution-of-our-house.html" target="_blank">The last time I showed y'all this room it looked like this.</a> Things have changed ... and will continue to. Not because I'm discontent, but because WOAH, I might be falling in love with seasonal decorating!<br />
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I realized as I was writing this post, I have never showed you the finished renovation pictures. Perhaps with the holidays around the corner, I'll have a chance to snap a few photos for you.<br />
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Then again, holidays = kids at home = messy photos, so maybe not.<br />
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We'll see.<br />
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For now, enjoy the peace and quiet of this <i>one clean room.</i><br />
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<br />
In terms of sourcing, I'm currently loving <a href="http://www.maryjomajor.com/collage/" target="_blank">Mary Jo Major</a>,<a href="http://www.luliewallace.com/collections/candles" target="_blank"> Lulie Wallace</a>, and <a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/art-of-instruction-katrien-van-der-schueren/1101008229?ean=9781452101118&st=PLA&sid=BNB_DRS_Core+Shopping+Books_00000000&2sid=Google_&sourceId=PLGoP348&k_clickid=3x348" target="_blank">this coffee table book!</a><br />
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Also, I search far and wide for the best pillows on the market, but mm mmm, <a href="http://www.potterybarn.com/shop/holiday-decor/holiday-pillows/?cm_type=lnav" target="_blank">I still come home to Pottery Barn at Christmas time</a>. (Feeling slightly sheepish and guilty about this ... )<br />
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Happy Friday, friends!<br />
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Lesson Learned: When a room has pretty bones, Christmas fits in ... beautifully.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYJP-iBsXatRHAZTTs0oQwOYAQwl64WA05XrVAMqpHD7MeofuMP-luDKjS7juqPoHGnr2VL5Zsnz-2F0cUTB5267BsOiC1pmh7xd3Pur7m_FvXHMZsnKHzvttbmTTthEDUOA4sglkHLdqJ/s1600/IMG_3581.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYJP-iBsXatRHAZTTs0oQwOYAQwl64WA05XrVAMqpHD7MeofuMP-luDKjS7juqPoHGnr2VL5Zsnz-2F0cUTB5267BsOiC1pmh7xd3Pur7m_FvXHMZsnKHzvttbmTTthEDUOA4sglkHLdqJ/s1600/IMG_3581.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a>Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-75437674894181082892015-11-04T12:30:00.000-06:002015-11-04T12:30:55.447-06:00Lesson 225: Things We FindColonies of sorts.<br />
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Anatomical drawings of butterflies.<br />
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People enjoying fires.<br />
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Little worlds.<br />
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Cooperatives.<br />
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Bookshelves that are trains.<br />
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Three-dimensional faces.<br />
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Sleepers. Everywhere.<br />
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Littles listening to their little teacher.<br />
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Celebrators.<br />
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Lesson Learned: This is why it's important to ignore your kids sometimes.Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-19385372075029587202015-11-02T21:56:00.002-06:002015-11-02T22:02:10.715-06:00Lesson 224: Changing My Profile PictureSo I went ahead and changed my blogger profile picture.<br />
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It just feels like it's time.<br />
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A few years back, I made a concerted effort to "brand" my blog using only my own know-how and the wonderful world of Google. Things improved some. It softened a bit. I created my own header (using an up-close photo of an oxford polo), and I was on my way to blogging greatness.<br />
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Except, welp. Turns out if you want your blog to look truly awesome, you have to pay someone. And if you want to be a famous blogger, most of the time you have to blog more than three times a month. On a carefully planned-out schedule. And the schedule has to be written with a gold pen on exquisite paper.<br />
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And you have to create "original content" that helps people in some way.<br />
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And you have to take really beautiful photos. Edit them. Pin them. Instagram them.<br />
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And so on and so on and so on.<br />
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And I just can't do all that. I mean like, even if I tried, <i>really tried</i>, I still couldn't do all that.<br />
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Turns out, I mostly just blog for myself. To document various aspects of our life. A small moment. A party. The transformation of our house. Occasionally I'm deep and speak true things about the difficulties of life in the already, but not yet. Occasionally thoughts I'm thinking resonate with a larger audience.<br />
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But for the most part, my aunts and old friends and few faithful readers tune in when I post. And it's a fun day for me, sharing a story and feeling known.<br />
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This has always been a safe (and fun) place for me to relish in the unchartered-ness of the life I'm currently living as a pastor's wife <i>with three children. </i>What in the world?!?!<br />
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The "I Don't Have A Clue" tag line feels as true today as it did over three years ago when I began the blog. (Though I do want to brag for just one second about the chili I served my neighbors this past weekend. <i>Three</i> <i>of them</i> asked for the recipe. I mean, y'all, that has got to be some kind of cooking growth, right?!?!)<br />
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And yet, I will say ... I'm feeling a little different lately.<br />
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There seems to be some energy in the air. Things feel like they're moving, and ... <i>I cut my hair. </i><br />
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<a href="http://idonthaveacluebutimfindingout.blogspot.com/2012/05/lesson-8-story-of-my-hair.html" target="_blank">Now, if you are long-time reader of the blog, you know that a hair cutting is a big deal. </a>I never just "want to try something new"and I never act on a whim. Uh uh! A hair cutting <i>means</i> something.<br />
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Usually, it's one of two things; a. Life Change, b. Major Stress.<br />
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Now which of these do you think is true at this current stage of life? Ha.<br />
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<a href="http://idonthaveacluebutimfindingout.blogspot.com/2015/10/lesson-223-fords-first-birthday-party.html" target="_blank">As I mentioned in the last post, Ford just turned one, </a>and if you are a mama you know that big things come with the close of year one. Pregnancy and infancy blend together for a mama's body and throw, well, mostly everything out of whack for almost two years.<br />
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And then those two years end.<br />
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And this time, when they ended, I cut my hair.<br />
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Thirteen inches.<br />
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It's the shortest it's been since I found out I was pregnant with Samara, seven years ago.<br />
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I look ... different.<br />
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And I want to change my profile picture.<br />
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Because ... I feel different.<br />
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But I'm not changing the whole direction of the blog. I just can't. I just can't do that. I can't think about how my fonts reflect the tone my profile picture is setting. And I can't worry about whether my About Page still truly reflects my mission. And I just hope the oxford polo print header will work with the new picture, because <i>headers take forever. </i><br />
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But I'm going to change the profile picture.<br />
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Because as much as things stay the same (aka I still don't have a clue and I still <i>love</i> oxford polos), things also change.<br />
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My hair changed.<br />
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And for some (admittedly strange) reason, that matters.<br />
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Lesson Learned: Y'all. I don't understand this post either. I just had to write it.<br />
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A couple other changes:<br />
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* The presumptuous "A Place to Learn" has become "Take A Deep Breath."<br />
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* I'm dropping the family photo introductions on the sidebar, mostly because I currently can't remember how to create them and thus, can't create one for Ford.Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-60184136207028715272015-10-26T22:06:00.001-05:002015-10-26T22:06:48.128-05:00Lesson 223: Ford's First Birthday PartyA year has passed, and my sweetest ball of extroverted energy has officially turned one! What a full, happy, tiring, wonderful year it has been.<br />
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To celebrate, we threw a party as usual. The theme? Well, it's a bit complicated.<br />
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You see whenever our children are young, we choose for them.<br />
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Duh. Otherwise, every party would be themed, "Mama. Dada. Mo. Blah, blah, blah." And none of these are good baby birthday party themes.<br />
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We try to think of images or ideas that make their baby faces light up. For Samara this was a rainbow, and for Hudson, a bear. But with Ford, we were a little stumped. Not because he doesn't have favorites. He does. It's just that his "favorite thing," the one his face just beams with joy every time he sees it, is kind of interesting.<br />
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I had an idea brewing in my mind for a while, but wanted to clear it with the fam before we went ahead with it. So at dinner one night, I brought up the topic, and said, "What kind of birthday party should we have for Ford? What is his favorite thing in the whole world?"<br />
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Without hesitation, Samara exclaimed, "People." And I about jumped out of my seat, because <i>that is exactly what I had been thinking. </i><br />
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Ford loves people, and so the only way to ensure he had the happiest of birthdays was to invite a whole lot of 'em to his party.<br />
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Good news friends, we know people. Oh yeah! My husband is a campus minister, and so we basically spend all our time just getting to know people. People who love babies. And people that like free food.<br />
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Yup, we invited all of RUF Winthrop to Ford's party, which was a super fun thing to do!<br />
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In order to make the invite large, I had to make the promises of sustenance small. No massive spread of specialties. No chicken salad, couscous, fruit salad, crescent roll bonanza. Nope, none of that. Not even pizza.<br />
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Just cupcakes.<br />
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But, in my defense, there were a whole lot of cupcakes.<br />
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Dutch Chocolate. Vanilla. Red Velvet. <i>Funfetti!</i><br />
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And lots of icing options.<br />
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Whipped Creme Cheese. Caramel. Strawberry. Chocolate. <i>Funfetti!</i><br />
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And lots of toppings.<br />
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Andes Mints. Oreos. Sprinkles. Peanut Chips. M&M's. Marshmellows.<br />
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Fun! Fun! Fun!<br />
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The party was great. We had perfect weather, students showed up, and a baby smashed a cupcake in his face. Nana and Papa helped out, Taylor Swift had us Shakin', and the older brother hid all baby brother's presents.<br />
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What more could we have asked for?<br />
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It was also special for us that our students came to this party, because turns out the guests of my children's first birthday parties have always reflected the group of people that have really helped Mark and I survive the first year.<br />
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For Samara, that was my family. My parents and brothers and extended aunts and uncles and grandparents, who surrounded us in so many ways during the crazy months of Samara's birth and my subsequent illnesses.<br />
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For Hudson, that was our dear seminary friends. Those precious people, who threw parties to celebrate "A Boy" and brought treats to the hospital, and who helped us deal with a baby <i>... and seminary! </i>Oh my!<br />
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And for Ford, it's our students. And our intern, Jaimie. And our not-students, but used to be students, but now you're all grown-up and graduated, but we still love you type people.<br />
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These ones, who first met me when I was pregnant with Ford, and said excellent things like, "You <i>do not </i>look seven months pregnant!" These ones, who walked slowly with me through the apple orchard, because what 8 months pregnant mama doesn't want to go apple picking? These ones, who held my baby when he was teeny, tiny, and told me that, "He is the cutest baby in the whole world! No, but ... for real." These ones, who gifted me with Winthrop onesies and other sweet lovies! These ones, who carry my baby around every function ... or spend their time coloring and playing games with his older siblings!<br />
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These ones (particularly male ones) who immediately have a baby thrown into their arms the second they admit to never holding a baby before. (Here at RUF Winthrop we're big on life skills.)<br />
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These ones who have just loved my family in every way ... and have helped us survive our first year!<br />
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We are so grateful for you all and were happy to spend such a special day in our lives with you!<br />
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In conclusion, I want to share a quick list with you. At his party, I passed a sheet around that said "Favorite Ford Moment," because I'm super cheesy and I like party games. Here are the responses.<br />
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"When we fell asleep in my arms at Fall Conference!" - Senior Guy<br />
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"Showing Ford how to draw." - Graduated Girl<br />
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"The first baby I held." - Senior Guy<br />
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"You are happy Ford." - Kindergarten Sister<br />
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"I taught him to throw things yesterday." - Senior Guy<br />
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"Holding him to meet new friends." - Junior Guy<br />
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"When he stole my phone and banged it against his head for a solid 15 minutes." - Freshman Girl<br />
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"I'm convinced he tried to murder me yesterday." - Freshman Guy<br />
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"That moment at Fall Conference when we threw rocks and hung out under large oak trees." - Junior Guy<br />
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"He is always happy ... and he tried to give me chewed up apples on family day." - Junior Girl<br />
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"When he smiles and wiggles to Shake It Off!" - Intern<br />
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"He is happy." - Kindergarten Sister<br />
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Y'all. Clearly Ford has made an impact in this first year of life!<br />
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We love you, sweet boy!<br />
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Lesson Learned: They say it takes a village to raise a child. They don't define "village." I think that's ok.<br />
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P.S. At the end of the day, we found out the presents weren't the only thing big brother was hiding ...<br />
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<br />Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-80801354130124136112015-08-13T14:40:00.000-05:002015-08-13T14:40:44.258-05:00Lesson 222: Ford's Nursery (and Artwork)As I was sitting with Ford in his nursery today, it struck me how much I enjoy being in his room. When we moved into our new house almost one year ago today, I was seven months pregnant. The majority of my nesting took place in this room.<br />
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We had moved from three bedrooms to four, and so this room was also the only one in the whole house that was completely new to me.<br />
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I was excited!<br />
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As such, I finished decorating in here fairly quickly.<br />
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And then moved on to the more difficult task of making old items fit in a new space and promptly forgot how much I like it in here.<br />
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Ford's room was used by the previous owners as an office. Day one in the house was spent removing the plastic countertops attached to the walls. My dad and Mark refinished the floors. And after a few weeks, we had beadboard installed.<br />
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Ford is the only one of my three who's gender was a surprise on delivery day. Thus, the room began with gender neutral bones that I eventually man-ified after his birth.<br />
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For the foundational decorations, we found a white modern, hipster crib on craigslist (gasp, I bought a used crib), chose an aden and anais bumblebee crib sheet from amazon, and bought new curtains from Target (that I first saw hanging in the home of the girl who I bought the crib from). The patterned chair was an impulse purchase from the Pottery Barn outlet that I had spent years regretting until it found a home in this room. The dresser came from my father-in-law's mother, and it is just beautiful. The rug first laid in the family room of our 2nd home, originally from West Elm. The distressed bookshelf sat in my bedroom most of my life painted blue. In our first home as a married couple, my mom painted it black for our family room. When we went to refinish it for Ford's room, the blue showed through under the black and looked so awesomely intentional that we just decided to keep it as is. The effect is one of Mark's favorite contributions to our house. The yellow stool is from Home Goods and the pillows are Pottery Barn.<br />
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But I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm explaining the room backwards.<br />
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Actually, the inspiration for all of these decorations came from the room's central piece of art.<br />
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I have gifted all three of my children with a picture for their bedrooms, chosen while they were still in my belly. Samara's are a front and side angle of three-dimensional Degas' ballerinas made from paper and framed. Hudson's is a funny koala bear print picked up on an anniversary trip to Asheville weeks before his birth.<br />
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This particular picture I found in a fun gallery of a girls' weekend to Raleigh, NC with some sweet college friends. <a href="http://jennhales.com/" target="_blank">The artist's name is Jenn Hales and if you click on this sentence it will take you to her website. She has some great stuff for kids' rooms! </a><br />
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I just bought a print rather than the original (because of price, obviously) and then had it framed. I love this quirky picture. It reminds me of my three mischievous bunny rabbits and the fun they will have growing up together. I love the color palette, pale orange, chalky gray, light blue, small hits of black and yellow. I love that it's playful and innocent, yet doesn't scream baby. Finally, I love that I was with some best friends when I bought it and their opinions were part of the decision.<br />
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This picture hangs with prominence in the room and is visible from the hallway.<br />
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On the chair sits a crochet baby blanket gifted from some of our RUF students, a sweet name plaque from my aunt, and this beautiful picture taken just days after Ford was born by our good friend,<a href="http://www.katietaylorphoto.com/" target="_blank"> Katie Taylor Deegan. Click here for her website. </a><br />
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On the other side of the room, hangs my favorite picture Katie took that day. The skin rolls on his arm are just too precious for me.<br />
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This 11x14 photo was simply finished in a Target frame and made to match another picture hanging on the same wall. They flank Ford's closet doors.<br />
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On the other side is a beautiful print done by a college friend's wife. It is part of a series that visually represents the growth of a Christian, and this last one in the series is a picture of the church. I gifted it to Mark for his ordination back in 2013.<a href="http://beesmallstudio.com/PRINTS" target="_blank"> Find their art here.</a><br />
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The last piece of the nursery puzzle came with styling the top of Ford's dresser. I haven't posted this room yet, because I've been continually rearranging it for almost a year now. The entire room is so sparse, but interesting. Beautifully simple, but intentional. I had a hard time figuring out the right balance of fitting with the quiet found in the rest of the room, but allowing for the fact that an actual person sleeps in here.<br />
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So in the end, this display is meant to be full of childhood and fun with the wooden animal train found with my mom in an antique store in Pennsylvania, the quintessential sock monkey, and the Beatrix Potter books. The yellow lamp base was thrifted and topped with a Target shade. Finally, all the various knickknacks have sentimental value of some sort, reminding me of our parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents. .<br />
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But this area also has a mesh of ideas and themes intermingling to create sort of story. It's about boyhood and travel, adventure and exploration. This comes out in the arrow, the airplane and these way-too-perfect old books.<br />
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I love the idea of Ford growing up to be brave and adventurous, strong, kind, and good. And at the same time, I recognize that it's easy to make such things entirely self-serving. How easy it is for a young man's heart to be swayed away from truth and towards his own desires. So just recently, I added this little verse from the hymn "Come Thou Fount" to the arrangement. It came as part of a set sold by Joanna Gaines from Fixer Upper. I have used others in various places throughout the house and have included them in gifts.<br />
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I wish I had a few more "big picture" pictures to show you, but Ford is sleeping soundly in his room, and I want to finish up here.<br />
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A few final thoughts about how I envision this room transitioning. Eventually, our hope is for Ford and Hudson to share a bedroom. Think bunk beds and blue and everything boy! When that occurs, this room will become a guest room. (Maybe a nursery at some point, but shhh, don't tell Mark I'm talking like this!)<br />
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The curtains, rug, chair, dresser, and lamp will all stay. A sleigh bed and new bedding will come in.<br />
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And though many of the distinctly "baby" items will probably find new homes, I am sure my guests will thoroughly enjoy considering my silly bunnies that set this whole room in motion.<br />
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Lesson Learned: It's easy to love a room that is full of artwork that I love. </div>
Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-18105162160967609102015-06-23T05:29:00.000-05:002015-06-23T07:15:54.185-05:00Lesson 221: Documenting TodayI can't say I ever thought I'd reach a point in life where I would feel an intense desire to do laundry. But friends, I'm there. A deep-seated longing habitually resides within the pit of my stomach, the back of my mind, the trenches of my heart, and its cry is a desperate one.<br />
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"Please let me wash our clothes."<br />
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As the piles build next to my bed, in the children's baskets, spilling onto the floor in three, four, five rooms, I lie awake at night in a panic that I will never experience the beauty of empty space again.<br />
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When my brain finally experiences relief and begins to allow sleep to drift in, I am unpleasantly awoken by the sound of the baby next door. He wants milk. Again. Just like he did three hours ago. And six hours ago. And nine hours ago. (I could do this counting backwards in three hour increments all the way to October.)<br />
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Oh why won't he sleep?!?!<br />
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As I make my way to bring him relief, I trip over mounds of clothes and know for sure that this feeding will be followed by at least an hour of lying awake, dreaming about laundry. And thus is the mind of a mama of three little ones when her house is undergoing a renovation.<br />
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A renovation in which the washer and dryer have a useless, but permanent position in the middle of the kitchen. A renovation that scatters nails and wood chips on the baby's stomping, I mean crawling ground making this newest stage of development one of even greater vigilance. A renovation that has been planned since last August, that is small in size, but complicated in scope. A seemingly endless renovation.<br />
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I reason with myself that the workers and the noise and the dirt and the constant unfinished nature of my house and the porta-potty in the yard would not be so hard to handle if only we could wash our clothes.<br />
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Or at least I had myself convinced of that until the hot water heater went out.<br />
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And the dishwasher stopped working.<br />
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And the coffee pot broke.<br />
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And the baby started moving, and yet still doesn't sleep all night.<br />
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On days when I'm not dreaming about doing laundry, I'll picture a life in which I brightly wake up from eight uninterrupted hours of slumber, drink a steaming cup of coffee in a clean mug, take a deliciously warm shower, and dress myself in something fresh. All my children are scrubbed clean as well, contentedly playing with this or that. Ford is smiling, making his rounds throughout the house, knowing exactly which small items are safe to put in his mouth and which to avoid. It's not 100 degrees outside, and so we progress to the back yard. It's sunny, but breezy. No one is sweating their brains out the second they open the door. No need to stay inside where the construction is occurring.<br />
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Except that in reality it's the hottest outside.<br />
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So this is where we are today. Record high temperatures. Renovation. Broken or unavailable appliances. A moving, but not sleeping baby. And a group of people, clothes, and dishes that are progressively getting dirtier and dirtier.<br />
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I'm sorry, but have I mentioned we're supposed to be potty training this month? Yes, the plan was to let the late-bloomer (who must be trained by the fall for school) run wild in his birthday suit <i>outside</i> all summer, but well, have I mentioned the heat?<br />
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We're putting on a pretty good face, but things are kind of tense here these days. I suppose I shouldn't be overly surprised when I find myself reaching for an adult beverage to accompany my mid-day meal or when I have a strong desire to nap <i>all afternoon</i>.<br />
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After church and a take-out lunch on Father's Day, I happily chirped to Mark, "Only six more hours." He gave me a confused, humorous look and said, "Until what?!?" And I realized I was counting down the hours to bedtime.<br />
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So much for a relaxing family summer.<br />
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But we're gonna be fine. We received a hand-me-down coffee pot. A serviceman jumped the dishwasher (thought hasn't fully fixed it yet.) Who needs hot water in the summer anyway (me)?<br />
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I should just stop.<br />
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I want to paint a rosy #firstworldproblems picture of contentment in the conclusion, but the truth is I've been up since four, not sleeping, thinking about how grimy everything feels. And realizing that the goal of this post was not to conclude, but to capture a moment in our little family's life.<br />
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The summer of the mudroom / half-bath renovation.<br />
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The summer everything broke.<br />
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The summer we were all dirty, all the time, so no one wore clothes, ever.<br />
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The summer it was too hot to go outside, so it's not that big of deal that no one bathed.<br />
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The summer Ford was a baby ... and acted like a baby.<br />
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The summer of 2015.<br />
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The summer I longed to do laundry.<br />
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Lesson Learned: I've been told to savor these times. I'll be my best!Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5787180140844586646.post-74072574203682926342015-06-16T22:48:00.000-05:002015-06-17T08:17:56.353-05:00Lesson 220: Words on Elisabeth ElliotElisabeth Elliot: December 21, 1926 - June 15, 2015.<br />
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I've been reading tributes to Elisabeth Elliot all day. Every one that pops up in my newsfeed I click on, and it seems as if they all do something similar. They acknowledge the impact her ministry has had, they address the frankness with which she spoke, and they celebrate the fact that she and the author agree on various things. Many are grateful for the way she unwaveringly promoted the gospel of Jesus Christ and are quick to note how prominent of a role she had in evangelical circles, especially concerning missions.<br />
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They are very nice articles, and I do not want to detract from the admiration of her colleauges. It is well deserved.<br />
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But I want to add something slightly different to the conversation. I want to tell you how I was directly affected by the ministry of Elisabeth Elliot. I want to share the ways she confronted, challenged, and convicted me as a young woman.<br />
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I want to praise one of my most beloved mentors.<br />
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Elisabeth Elliot did not just have an impact on generations of women, in general. Elisabeth Elliot had a phenomenal impact on me ... my life, my friendships, my calling, and most importantly my relationship with God.<br />
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How can I even begin to say thank you?<br />
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My first run-in with the writings of Elisabeth Elliot was quite comical actually. I'm not sure where I heard mention of the book, <i>Passion and Purity</i>, but somehow, I caught wind of the title and was told it might be something I would want to check out. So, I did what anyone would have done in the old days when we wanted a book. I drove to the nearest Barnes and Noble to peruse the volume.<br />
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Well, the subject seemed far too intense for little old me, too confrontational perhaps, too close to home I'm sure, and so I bought something else. Some other who-knows-what Christian living book came home with me and began to collect dust on my shelf. A few more not-worth-reading-but-distraction-from-Passion-and-Purity books made it onto that shelf in subsequent trips until finally I decided to suck it up and buy the dang thing. I am not lying when I say I hid the book near my thigh as I walked to the check-out counter, beelined it to my college bedroom with the book still in the bag when I returned home, and quickly secured the lock behind me. Only then, in the complete solitude of my room did I dare take the offensive material out and begin reading.<br />
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I read the entire book in one night.<br />
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And thus began my journey into the world of Elisabeth Elliot.<br />
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A world in which God is so mighty and powerful and fearful that one can only submit and follow his word. A world in which God is so good and holy and just that one can only trust in the perfect provision of his will and plan. A world in which God is so loving and caring that one cannot help oneself from praying for every and all things, because why would we not ask of our Father who has loved us for all eternity?<br />
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A world in which life without Jesus made no sense, offered no hope, provided no comfort, gave no peace, and a world in which life with Jesus was life abundant and full.<br />
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I want to be clear here. I did not love Elisabeth Elliot, because I easily agreed with her writings, as if my head was nodding up and down affirming everything she wrote as I read. Oh no!<br />
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Rather, I loved Elisabeth Elliot, because when I first encountered her, I was living a largely "I'm saved, no need for obedience" kind of Christian life, and she challenged this. Her writings forced me to stop and consider and pray.<br />
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It was hard for me to read Elisabeth Elliot, painful.<br />
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She uncovered selfishness, pride, disobedience, willfulness, impatience. She forced me to face the idea of Biblical holiness. She forced me the look into the face of the living God and to experience not only easy salvation, but fear and awe and power and grace and forgiveness and beauty.<br />
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Holiness.<br />
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It was huge.<br />
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This view of God, this understanding of the purpose of life, changed everything.<br />
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I devoured whatever I could get my hands on by her, and as a result began devouring my Bible. If Elisabeth Elliot did one thing in her life, she sent people to the source. She was the ultimate deflector, only and always pointing people back to Christ!<br />
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As I've come out of the Elisabeth Elliot haze of my early 20's, I've heard critiques on her work, saying that her extreme call for obedience left people always feeling ashamed, guilty, broken. And perhaps that might have been the case for those who pursued this thing called holiness on their own, but here's the deal. I didn't have a legalistic bone in my body. I was fully prepared to allow God to love me in spite of, in spite of, in spite of my sins. I loved grace! I'll take your grace all day long!<br />
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But I had no intention of changing my lifestyle in a response of gratitude. I hung out for a long time in the land of gray. Maybe this is ok, maybe not. Probably isn't, but what do I need to worry about. I have grace!<br />
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Elisabeth Elliot came in and said, NO! There is no gray area! There is only holiness, and what you are thinking, saying, doing is not holy!<br />
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And it was exactly what I needed to hear.<br />
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I needed someone like Elisabeth Elliot to boldly enter the picture and with great loving wisdom, say NO. Stop sinning. It is not good for you. It hurts you. It hurts your witness. It hurts others. It does not please God. For goodness sakes, stop.<br />
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And the pursuit of holiness is just the first of many lessons Elisabeth Elliot taught me.<br />
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She also taught me to wait. For painstakingly long periods of time. Wait.<br />
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She taught me that suffering is a gift from God to be borne under. Suffer well.<br />
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She taught me to be a woman. A God-fearing, praying, Bible loving woman. A woman who loves her Lord and her husband and her children. A woman who loves the church and her neighbors and her friends.<br />
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In this same vein, she taught me the urgency of spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ.<br />
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Throughout my 20's as decisions were made concerning missions in Ireland, applications to seminary and marriage with Mark, Elisabeth Elliot's wisdom was always in my mind, pointing me back to the Bible and to the Lord. As I suffered with illness during my first pregnancy and as I struggled through the first years of motherhood and ministry, I heeded her admonishment to accept what the Lord has given as necessary for my good and his glory.<br />
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You see why I count this woman as a spiritual mentor, and why I am eternally grateful for her life and witness?<br />
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And I know I am not alone. Elisabeth Elliot's legacy does not start and end with me, but rather includes hundreds and hundreds of other women just like me, who needed a strong, loving voice to come into their lives, exclaim NO to sin, and point them to truth and life in the person of Jesus. <br />
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After years of struggling with dementia, Elisabeth Elliot went to be with the Lord a few days ago. And I must say, I'm relieved for her. She who taught me to wait has waited so long for this day, for this time, when she can see her Lord and Maker in all his glory and power and majesty.<br />
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Praise God for this faithful servant! Praise God for calling her to his family, for saving her! Praise God for carrying her through a life of heartache and pain, of love and joy! Praise God for the work he allowed her to accomplish, for the lives he allowed her to influence! Praise God for preserving her for himself! Praise God that she is worshipping him today in his presence with all the other saints who have gone before, that she is no longer suffering or in pain, but that she is whole and full and perfect!<br />
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Praise the Lord for this life well lived!<br />
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I am grateful.<br />
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Lesson Learned: Elisabeth Elliot loved hymns before it was cool to love hymns, including this one.<br />
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"O Love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in Thee; I give Thee back the life I owe, That in thine ocean depths its flow, may richer, fuller be."<br />
<br />Katherine A. http://www.blogger.com/profile/04532934519984604818noreply@blogger.com1