Lesson 164: In 2014, I Hope To ...

Turns out, a themed collection of awesome blog posts in a single location is one of my new favorite things. (Along with raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.) Friends, I had an excellent time looking back at 2013 with you and reflecting on ways we've all grown. Thanks for all who participated. (See here if you haven't read yet.)

But now, it's time to more forward. We know where we've been. Where are we going?

Welcome to the "In 2014, I Hope to ..." Link-Up Party! This is a place for goals, aspirations, dreams. We're setting agendas here. Developing game plans. Thinking big!

Well ... let's see what you've got! Can't wait to be inspired. 
http://goo.gl/vLuky5

Lesson 160: In 2014, I Hope to ...

My original hope for this post was that it would be abrupt, short, and cool. You'd click on it, expecting my usual amount of words, but instead, you'd be caught off guard by just two lonely sentences. And you'd think to yourself, wow, she's cool. 

It would have looked something like this.

1. Learn to sew. 
2. Write a book.

Imagine, just those six words on the stark white background. Super cool, in both their simplicity and in their hipster content.

Alas, as I began to think harder, I realized my intention in goal planning is not to look cool, but actually to give myself a list of motivations for the coming year. These are what I call "on-top-of" motivations. They are ways to spend time on-top-of my regular daily responsibilities. If I have a free second, how will I spend it wisely, not wastefully? Incidentally, I desire motivation in more than two areas.

(For the recond, #s 1 and 2 stand. They are my "step outside your comfort zone" goals.)

3. Blog consistently. Friends, I want you to know when you're going to find me here. For now, this means 3 times a week, Mon-Fri (maybe more). Admitting the schedule to others sounds ambitious, but I've found the more I write, the more ideas I have.

If you enjoy this blog, would you consider following by email? I receive my own emails, and they immediately filter into the Social folder on gmail. Rather than cluttering your main box, they wait patiently until you are ready to relax and read!

4. Guest post once a month for another blog. I'm looking for interesting ways to grow my readership base. Let me know if you are willing to invite me over. I like being given assignments and writing outside my usual topics.

5. Open an HSA for our faimly. 

6. Take a chunk out of my student loans. Oh, the money I still owe someone for my VT days. I'm not Dave Ramseying attacking them, but since beginning a family budget in September, I've found that it is incredibly easy to throw extra money in that direction. It's like blogging. The more I put in that direction, the more I desire the sum to be $0.

7. Get ourselves a will. This is a rollover from last year's list.

8. Rid our house of (at least) 50 items. This also is ambitious, because I filled a trunk of items destined for Goodwill just last week. What could possibly be left to purge? There is always more!

9. Stick to a Bible Reading plan with Mark. Our church is celebrating its 250th birthday this year! Think about that one. We're embarking on a churchwide reading plan to emphasize that God's faithfulness at Bethel is a result of a love for Scripture. We're in.

10 Generic Goals: Increase gardening efforts. Learn to operate my camera. Consider pursuing a Biblical counseling degree. Teach from the Bible to groups of women (girls) as much as possible. Enjoy my children, my husband, and my home. Volunteer. Call friends. Answer my phone.

Sorry this post wasn't shorter. I do believe it will prove to be more helpful!

What are your "on-top-of" goals? 


Lesson Learned: Ok 2014, let's see what we can do!

Lesson 156: Steve Jobs and Me.

Do you ever wonder about those people, the ones who are thinking a billion brilliant thoughts simultaneously? Do you ever wonder how it is that their brains don't explode?

I have an acquaintance from high school, who is (to put it lightly) extremely busy on facebook. He posts more links concerning more subjects than anyone else I know.

But it's not just that he posts the links, he comments on the links. He asks questions, seeks dialogue, and follows-up. He argues. He pushes his points. He genuinely seems to care. Perhaps, it amazes me, because half of the time, I have no idea what the articles he posts are talking about.

They just make me tired.

Over my self-imposed Christmas break, I read Steve Jobs' biography. Talk about a fascinating brain.

In the book, he comes across as the most egotistical, manipulative perfectionist, who was a nightmare to work for and frustrating to live with. At one point, I asked Mark, "When am I going to get to the redeeming aspect of this guy?"

I kept thinking, there is absolutely no way Steve Jobs would have ever hired me. I am one of the people he would have "gobbled" out of the room in an interview. If I had slipped into the company somehow, I would have sat securely in his bozo category until he eventually fired me.  

So much of what he fixated upon, so much of his drive, so much of what he cared about does not jive in the slightest with me.

In fact, it mostly makes me tired.

However, on a scaled down, more average Joe, less Steve Jobs level, much of his passion invirgorated a fire within my soul.

It makes me want to stretch, to breath, to open my eyes to possibilities. To think really hard. To sit down, in quiet, and to think. To make my brain hurt with such intense thinking. To discard bad ideas, but to foster good ones. To write down good ideas, and to continue to think about them. To edit, to adjust, to perfect. To grow something. To pour my time, my energy, my thoughts, my intellect into something that really matters. To produce.

Did I just get caught up in the Steve Jobs' reality distortion field for a second?

Y'all, while reading this book, I was totally sucked into the Steve Jobs' RDF. So much so, that mid-sentence, I jumped up, grabbed my idea notebook, and wrote, "Some days are best spent in bed with a basket of Christmas goodies and Steve Jobs' biography. I'm going to break-out in 2014. 2014 is my year."

What does that even mean? I have no idea. It's all cryptic and profound sounding, but more likely, hollow and weird. At least I didn't immediately post to twitter.

Perhaps, this is where the brain-hurting thinking comes into play.

I am no genius. In fact, as demonstrated, my brain gets real tired, real quick.

But neither am I content to idle away, letting potentially good thoughts turn to mush. I am not content to have no goals, no ideas churning, no growth occuring.

Perhaps, "breaking-out in 2014" simply means pushing through to the end of an idea trail rather than succumbing to fatigue and falling asleep. Perhaps it is forcing myself to do the brain work, even if it ends up leading nowhere. Perhaps its thinking through the connections of faith, passion, training, and how these components can be passed on or as Jobs would say, imputed, to the world. (Clarification: Imputation is not being used in a theological sense here.)

Steve Jobs never did marketing research. He was fond of saying that people don't know what they want. It was his job, Apple's job, to show them what they wanted, why they needed it.

Enter iphones.

He was a visionary, a motivator, and a perfectionist. His products were complete packages, they worked in themselves from end to end. The hardware, software, design, power, everything was connected, just like Jobs. He was the complete package.

His work was exact. And successful.

To be honest, my dreams for life, when I can stay awake long enough to dream them, are far bigger than connecting the world through perfectly designed mobile devices. They involve the God of the Universe, the Savior of the human race, and the people that he is lovingly drawing to himself.

The Lord's passions are good and perfect. His vision is one that I can get on board with. His work requires time, attention, thought, care, hard work. He inspires faithfulness and fosters creativity. He provides strength and courage to proceed.

Pray that we would not grow lazy or passive in the work we have been assigned to do.

Pray that we would engage in kingdom work, purposeful living, with faith, hope, love, joy, focus, grace. Not to earn our salvation. But to live fully as a result of it.

This is something worth staying awake for.

Lesson(s) Learned (from Steve Jobs): Focus intently on a few things, rather than a million. Commit to making your output excellent, rather than quick and mediocre. Simplify everything. Then simplify it again.

Lesson 141: Mark Got Himself Ordinated

And just like that, I'm married to a Reverend.

Lesson Learned: To God be the Glory!

Lesson 136: Do the Next Thing (Making Time at Home Matter)

There are days when I do not want to do anything.

I don't want to make my bed. Heck, I don't even want to get out of bed. I don't want to wash dishes. I don't want to fold laundry. I don't want to cross anything off my list. I simply do not want to do anything.

Typically, these days are the days when there is the most to be done.

There are random shoes, trucks, and books spread all over the house. There are half-filled cups on every imaginable surface. There is shredded cheese and cereal on the carpet under the kids' seats at the table. There are bills to be paid, phones calls to make, and emails to return. The fridge is empty, the diaper supply is on E, and the kids still need to be fed and changed.

It is on such days as these when I find myself sitting around feeling sorry for my lot in life. How could anyone expect me to get out of bed today, let alone tackle the rigors of running a household?

Honestly, some of these days get completely wasted. The sour mood triumphs, and the house remains a mess until Mark gets home. He swoops in like the hero he is, takes the sticky littles to the grocery store, buys dinner and diapers, cooks the meal, baths the babies, and cleans up the wreckage from the day. He usually rubs my feet as I fall asleep at 9 pm. I remember what a sweet man I married and resolve to wake up with more energy tomorrow.

It is ok if this is how the situation transgresses occasionally.

But, this cannot happen every day. Twinges of the "I don't want to" mindset occur almost every day, but I simply cannot collapse into a useless mess every single day. Taking care of this household is my job. I need to run it well, and I want to run it well.

Is there a way to break the cycle?

I have found that the most successful way to combat these pouty thoughts (while praying), is simply to do to the next thing. That's it. Do the next thing. What I mean is that I try to accomplish just one thing, no matter how small or insignificant. Whatever the next thing is, I do it.

I get up, and I put one toy away.

It sounds so elementary. How will returning one toy to its proper place make any difference whatsoever in the grand scheme of the household? Well, it won't, in and of itself. But I have found that often this simple movement serves as an motivation to keep going.

On the way back from the playroom, I pass an empty water cup. Might as well put that in the kitchen, you know, since I'm already standing.

In the kitchen, I notice a few pieces of junk mail. It's not too much effort, so I throw them out. A space has been cleared. All of the sudden I have the desire for a clean countertop, and I work towards that end.

As I'm clearing away, I spot my list and realize #2 is a simple bookkeeping detail that will not take more than three minutes. I open my computer, enter the data, and cross the item off my list.

Do you see what has happened? By simply making the decision to complete one, small task, I have become motivated enough to complete four more.

On really bad days, these four tasks may be the extent of my day's successes. However, usually the trend continues for a while longer. I may not finish everything (in fact, I rarely finish everything even on a good day), but I've put a dent in the work. I've made gains. I've accomplished something.

If you find yourself in a slump, with loads of laundry looming, stacks of unanswered correspondance, and scattered play things galore, I encourage you, not to do everything but to do the next thing!


Lesson Learned: Slow and steady.

Lesson 127: A Master's Degree and Two Babies: Part 5 (Making Time at Home Matter)

If you missed these posts,
Part 1: Seminary and Babies
Part 2: Seminary and Babies
Part 3: Ways to "Make Time Matter" During Seminary
Part 4: During Seminary, I Did Not ...

Today, I'll conclude this portion of the "Making Time at Home Matter" series with a few thoughts about the way seminary affected our parenting and relationship with our children.

Though I was beyond grateful to attend seminary, I did my best to always remember that my first obligation was to my children. We continued in the direction of finishing seminary as long as doors were open for it. However, my completion was never guaranteed. If circumstances had arisen that would have required me to stop, we were okay with that.

(This is part of the reason that I was so excited to finish! The Lord is good.)

Not only were my children my number one obligation, but they are my number one ministry. It does not matter a whip that I can perfectly explain sanctification to PhD's if my own children are not being introduced to the love of Jesus on a regular basis.

Thus, our first "home" goal was for seminary to be more than academic. We wanted the material to penetrate our hearts and effect our lives.

Sometimes we were successful. Sometimes we failed.

There were occasions when it was difficult to understand how memorizing church history dates or parsing Greek verbs connected to raising our kids (or to life in general). But overall, I'd say our studies had a huge impact on our home life. Most importantly, we were shown a thoroughly Biblical worldview and taught just how all of life fits into that framework.

Our second "home" goal was to engage in focused time with our children. Time when they got our full, funny, silly attention. Time when we were just ourselves, just parents, just a family. 

Again, sometimes we were successful. Sometimes we failed. 

There were definitely days when I built block towers absentmindedly with a book in my hand. There were mornings Samara spent hours happily splashing in the bath tub, while I sat nearby ploughing through Eusebius.

There were days when my children got straight up ignored.

Sometimes I felt guilty. Sometimes I felt justified. 

They learned the valuable lesson of playing by themselves. They learned to engage in games and activities without my intervention. They learned some indepence. We saw this as a positive, rather than a negative.

They also learned a love for learning. Samara was "studying," "doing homework," and "going to school" as long as she can remember. For a mama who values education, this pleased me.

They learned to interact with grown-ups. Samara and Hudson were some of the only children in our group of seminary friends, especially at the beginning. This meant they received lots of positive, constructive attention from adults. During a youth ministry seminar this past weekend, an expert in the field demonstrated how vital healthy adult-child relationships are for the well-being of children. I can whole-heartedly say, these babies were well-loved!

In conclusion, I will say the juggling act of seminary worked for our family. Mark and I were open to sharing household responsibilities, willing to make sacrifices to complete work, and honest about the stress everything had on our family.

I will also say we are glad life has a more normal flow to it these days!

We are grateful for the time our family had to grow during seminary. We were surrounded by exceptional examples of godly parents. We asked a lot of questions, and we learned so much. We are still learning.

We received an incredible amount of love and support from our friends. We were able to get through those first dark years (where you hide in your house as a new parent) with relative ease because of them.

Finally, we were somehow able to maintain the perspective that life outside of our own family bubble exists. From the moment we found out that I was pregnant with Samara, Mark was certain that the Lord had given her to us, because He knew that we needed her in order to accomplish his will in our lives. Our ministry, for whatever reason, would be lacking without Samara.

Thus, we did seminary with babies, and we were okay with it. We knew nothing else.

It's interesting. Our seminary friends have graduated, are beginning new jobs, and are having babies! They are all in the process of learning the work / family balance. I think at the end of the day, having children requires that you figure out how to make a whole lot of moving parts work together. It happens to everyone at one life stage or another.

We simply had to learn a little before the others.


Lesson Learned: Seminary + Babies = A Beautiful Mess

Lesson 122: A Master's Degree and Two Babies: Part 4 (Making Time at Home Matter)

Part 1: Seminary and Babies
Part 2: Seminary and Babies
Part 3: Ways for "Making Time Matter" During Seminary
______________________________________________________________________

During seminary, my time was spent in 3 main ways:
1. I took care of my children.
2. I focused on school.
3. I dug into relationships with friends, family, and church members.

Today's post is a list of confessions. Today I will tell you all the things I did not do during our three and a half years of seminary.

I Did Not: 

1. Worry about Money: Between multiple scholarships, tuition was almost entirely taken care of. Also, Mark had savings which meant that neither he nor I had to work full-time. We lived frugally, but we did not stress about money.

2. Cook: Mark took care of this. He's wonderful. My brain could not handle it all. Around year three, I began to meal plan, but the execution was still in Mark's domain.

3. Do Laundry: That's not entirely true. I'm pretty sure I did at least three loads of laundry in those three and a half years. Haha, three times y'all. My husband is a rock star!

4. Exercise Often: I went through spurts, but nothing consistent.

5. Clean Deeply: We picked up most days, but there was not much scrubbing going on. Unless my mother-in-law came to town. Then I'd clean.

6. Keep Samara Everyday: For the last two years, a sweet woman from church kept Julia once a week for me, so that I could either study with one less child or attend class. Amazing!

7. Take Samara on Exciting Adventures: We went on four fun mommy dates total: once to an indoor swim park, once to an indoor play gym, and twice to the Charlotte children's museum. During the week, there were no play groups, no library story time, nothing. We'd go to parks and play outside a lot, but I was not creative or willing to leave the house much.

8. Learn Every Single Point Exactly Perfectly: I did my best to do my best. But at the end of the day, I was a mom. Sometimes schoolwork got neglected. I could not be a perfectionist, and that was ok.

Takeaways for You to Make Time at Home Matter:

This post highlights the concept of priorities. You are able to accomplish that which is important to you. It is clear that I prioritized school over housework. I justified doing so, because I understood that seminary occurred only for a season. 

I have friends (moms) who prioritize running, baking bread, and cooking. Others volunteer, knit, and throw parties. The extra time they have in their days, they put towards things they care about.

My hope with this series is not to say, "Look how freakin' awesome I am." Rather, it's to encourage you to think through what it is you care about, and then to try and help you figure out ways to direct well-spent time towards it.

One of the most important ways to do this is to prioritize!

Lesson Learned: Prioritizing means that not everything gets the same amount of attention. Something always has to give.

Finish the Series with Part 5: Reflections on My Children's Experience with Seminary

Lesson 116: A Master's Degree and Two Babies: Part 3 (Making Time at Home Matter)

This post answers the "How" question. How was I able to complete a Masters Degree and have Two Babies? If you are curious about the "What" explanation, read the story in Part 1 and Part 2. 

_______________________________________________________________________

A Master's Degree and Two Babies is an appropriate addition to the "Making Time at Home Matter" series, because I earned my seminary degree, almost entirely, at home. Reading, researching, writing, and studying were all accomplished in the comfort of my own home, with two little ones rambling around being raised. The only significant portion of time I spent outside my house was for lectures, which added up to 3-11 hours a week.

For all you super busy stay-at-home mom's, this sounds outrageous. I can hear you angrily exclaiming, "Oh, your kids must not be real people. It cannot be possible to read Systematic Theology with all those blinky, singing toys and crying babies in the background. Katherine, you are a liar!"

You're right. It's not easy.

(And we've consistently kept loud toys out for that very reason.)

How is it possible to earn a master's degree while having two babies?

I'll answer that question in 3 Parts:
Part 3: Ways for "Making Time Matter" During Seminary
Part 4: During Seminary I Did Not ...
Part 5: Reflections on My Children's Experience with Seminary

Without further ado:

Ways for "Making Time at Home Matter" During Seminary

1. Paying attention in class:  Class was the number one opportunity to learn material during the week. If I tracked in class, studying later on was way easier.

2. Taking comprehensive notes: I wrote down every word my professors said. Every. Single. Word. Including random jokes. This kept me engaged and again, made studying easier.

3. Reading and homework every weeknight: We consciously spent time together as a family in the afternoon through to dinner, baths, and bedtime stories. However, when the kiddo's were sleeping, Mark and I were studying.  (For me, this almost always included naptime as well. Well, unless I was napping at naptime.)

4. Observing the Sabbath: We did our best to refrain from studying on Sundays. A good Sabbath rest was good for our souls and made the rest of the week way more productive! If possible, we tried to take Saturday off as well, but that rarely worked.

5. Discussing class content with each other and classmates: This was important, because it helped reinforce material without having to do extra studying. The more we thought about what we were learning, the more we actually learned.

6. Making library time productive: Library time was rare, and therefore, precious. We used it well!

7. Reading in advance: No break was ever a complete break. The day one semester ended, reading commenced for the upcoming semester.

8. Digging into friendships: Relationships were one of the most significant aspects of our seminary experience. We always took off for dinner with friends, parties, and so on. This helped remind us that the goal of seminary is ministry and a huge aspect of ministry is relationship.

9. Allowing for "wasted brain time": We let our brains relax. My main non-seminary activity was decorating. When I wasn't thinking about philosophy, I was thinking about furniture. Mark played basketball (when I let him) and watched dumb sci-fi shows.

10. Maintaining perspective: Mark and I consistently reminded ourselves and each other why we were working so hard. I often would groan (weekly during Greek II), that I was going to quit, because seminary was only my "hobby" and it was just too hard. Mark would remind me (weekly) that "we are putting too much time and energy into this thing for it to be your hobby." This would be followed by, "Go do your homework!" We'd remind ourselves that we loved the Lord and desired to serve his church in an official capacity. We'd remind ourselves that he was strong enough to sustain us!

Throughout the course of seminary, I envisioned this moment over and over and over. One day, it finally happened.

Takeaways for You to Make Time at Home Matter:

- Focus your mind and make it work when you are given the time to do so. (1, 2, 6).
- Consistently use spare time well. (3, 7).
- Work with other people. (5, 8).
- Maintain perspective and envision your goal. (10).
- Rest. (4, 9).


Lesson Learned: There was not just one aspect that made seminary work. It was a combination of many aspects related to time management. And, the Lord is good.

Lesson 112: I Married the LOML on 10/10

Y'all.

I got married on 10/10.

To the LOML (love of my life).

There are no words.


Lesson Learned: Sometimes even the weirdest dreams come true.

(Longer post to follow. Right now, it's time to party!)

Lesson 86: "2013 Goals" Check-In

Christmas in July celebrations are popping up all over social media these days. This has reminded me it's time to check in and see how I'm doing with those New Year's rezi's ...

1. Graduate seminary: As of today I am 15 credits short of a Masters of Arts in Biblical Studies from Reformed Theological Seminary. This is five classes. I also have to pass the English Bible Exam. I have exactly 136 days until graduation. I'd like to not only finish, but finish strong.

There I am, shaking our new President's hand in the old graduation garb! If I get real reflective at some point, I'll write more about this awesome day.

Oh, and here's my hubby with some of his fraaaands!

2. Practice Good Dental Hygiene: As you may have read here, December was an expensive month for my teeth. 

Definitely doing this with significantly more regularity.

3. Buy a Painting: I don't know if it's come across in this blog, but I love to decorate my house. I've been saving to buy an original Charlotte-related painting as a graduation present / remembrance for Mark and I. Paintings are not cheap! Thus, I have been selling small items here and there on craigslist and am hoping that by May, I will have saved up enough, non-necessary money to purchase one!


Meet ... my cows! Oh how I love these friends!

I promise to introduce you more fully to them at a later date!

4. Cut Internet Usage in Front of Samara: I won't go on a full-fledged rant here, but I hate seeing kids playing with iphones. I could probably devote an entire blog to my lack of love for mixing children and technology. That being said, though I don't allow Samara to use my computer, I am often on the computer in front of her. All this does is increase her desire to be on the computer as well. I only have a couple of years left with her. I want them to be spent with us doing things together in person, not with her watching me learn about blogging. (She's napping right now.)

I'd say there's been some marked improvement!

5. Continue with the Monthly Meal Plan: FAIL!

6. Get Ourselves a Will: FAIL! In fact, we've taken a few steps backwards here. Apparently there are some other legal matters we need to sort out first.

7. Read the Bible in a Year: FAIL! Started behind and have never caught up. I wonder if I could do it in six months?

8. Exercise Once I'm Done Nursing: FAIL! (and I don't want to talk about it.)

9. Increase Our Gardening Efforts: We will try again for the herbs, and maybe consider tomatoes and cucumbers. I hear these grow, but hmmm, with us, you never know. 

Do we have a garden? Ha, please?!?! You can read all about it here, here, here, and here.

10. Generic goals: Continue to cut extraneous sugar. Buy steel cut oatmeal. Pick up my clothes more often. (This has been made easier by cleaning out and cleaning out again.) Do more loads of laundry. Read to Hudson more. He is so active, I usually just end up wrestling him. Try to call people on their birthdays, send cards, or at least do a facebook shout-out. Do things that make Mark smile. Drink more water. Send my mom more pictures of my children. (Sorry Mom, I really am.) Spend more time outside. 

What is that, 50%?

It could be worse. We could still be living a cow-less life, but friends, that is just simply not the case. 

Well y'all, how are you doing with your goals?


Lesson Learned: Perhaps I need to enter "Start Bible Reading Plan" into my google calendar for 1-1-14. I need to begin "In the beginning" at the beginning.

(Did you get that Gen 1:1 reference?)

Lesson 73: Happy Faces

This is what Ashbaughs look like when they finish seminary.

(Been planning that pose for years.)

And we still love each other!

Lesson Learned: Yeehaw!

Lesson 72: The LAST Paper

I am currently writing (not writing) my last seminary paper. You would think that with twenty-three under my belt, this last 8-10 pager on marriage would be a breeze. Unfortunately, Mark and I went on a pre-finals graduation beach trip through yesterday, and well, I don't want to write it.

Here is a list of things I would rather be doing:
- Sitting on a couch in the beach house, playing cards, doing a puzzle, and being with friends.
- Looking at the new Elle Decor magazine.
- Mentally decorating my new house.
- Putting together fun touches for a graduation party we are hosting on Wednesday.
- Catching up on missed Glee episodes.
- Taking a shower.
- Reading a book about Montessori schooling, or really, anything not related to marriage.
- Hanging out with my husband (who is writing a sermon).
- Organizing my sock drawer. (Ok, not really. But, I was trying to sound slightly dramatic.)

Most importantly, I would rather be chillin' here blogging without an unfinished paper looming in the back of my mind.

Alas, I must go write. As in, I must go write my paper, not a blog.

I think I wanted to get this post up while I was still experiencing some of the assignment angst which is characteristic in seminary. Because y'all ... in three days, it will no longer be there!

I will be done. 

Lesson Learned: Write all your papers before you go on vacation, not just most of them.

Lesson 67: Climbing Croagh Patrick Pregnant

When I was 3 and a half months pregnant with Samara, my husband made me climb Croagh Patrick in Westport, Ireland.

I was not thrilled.

Tradition has it that St. Patrick spent forty days and forty nights fasting and praying on top of this mountain. Sound familiar?

Apparently, at the end of his fast, St. Patrick succeeded in ridding Ireland of snakes. Thank you, Paddy!

Every year pilgrims climb this mountain barefoot, and sometimes on their knees.

I climbed it while wearing shoes ... very, very slowly.

Coming down was even slower. Those rocks were dangerous!

The view from the top was pretty amazing. Man, Ireland is beautiful.

I sure love this country.

And miss it.

Happy St. Patricks Day!

Lesson Learned:  I will always be an Irish girl at heart.

Lesson 65: The 26.2 Club

26.2 miles.

The first person to run this distance continuously was Pheidippides, who sprinted from the Battle of Marathon all the way to Athens to announce the defeat of the Persians. Allegedly, after proclaiming, "We won" (in Greek of course), Pheidippides collapsed and died.

The fastest person to ever run this distance is Patrick Makau of Kenya, who completed the feat in just 2:03:38. This is approximately the amount of time it took me to write this blog post. Got to love nap time.

The most recent group of people to run 26.2 miles and gain membership to an elite tier of personhood did so in Phoenix, Arizona on January 20.

This Rock 'n' Roll Arizona Marathon was my first.

My involvement in the RnRAM met every preconceived marathon expectation I have ever had. It required diligent training and meticulous preparation. It necessitated strong mental readiness, a real "can do" attitude. Finally it entailed pre-race discipline including proper nutrition, rest, and hydration.

Also as expected, I collapsed exhausted upon completion and experienced a true sense of pride in my accomplishment!

I can't even imagine how I would have felt had I actually run in the race.

I hope you didn't think that I had run. I don't really run, per se. I jog occasionally around the playground outside and am most likely capable of beating Samara in a race. But, no, I did not run in the race.

I was on a support team.

See, here I am cheering, as my bff Nikki checks in and receives her number. Excitement was in the air. Uber-fit, hipsters roamed the center, sporting neon gear and drinking water.

I wanted to be all of them!

But, my race day responsibilities lie in a realm outside the pounding of pavement.

Here I am with our team captain, Hayley. Hayley was not a marathon newbie like myself. Both she and her fiance, Brett, were inaugurated into the 26.2 club at a race in Washington D.C. As in, they actually ran 26.2 miles. Thus, she knew exactly what Nikki needed to succeed on this big day: A sign from her hubby, loads of water, a sweat towel, and of course, a cowbell. Because what marathoner does not need the encouragement of a cowbell? 

Support teams are very important. All that stuff I said about preparation and so forth was no joke. Hayley had the whole course mapped out, knowing exactly when and where we'd see Nikki run by and what supply exchanges needed to occur.

Let's be frank. Hayley carried the majority of the support team load. My role was essentially support to the support with the additional requirement of being really loud. I am really good at being really loud!

Now, I know all these pictures, plans, and props give the impression that we were a phenomenal support team. Unfortunately, on the first set meet-up point, Nikki's crew gave her cause for concern.

This first trade-off was a big one. She was to give us her vest and one empty water bottle, and we were to provide her with sunglasses and two full water bottles. We were ready. We arrived with time to spare, parked, and headed over to find a clear spot to cheer on our girl!

As we approached the race, my spirit was invigorated by the atmosphere. The band had me dancing, the crowds had me clapping, the sun had me smiling, the wind had my hair blowing. In my mind, I was thinking, "Marathons are the most fun" when out of nowhere we heard, "Hayley. Hayley! HAY---LEY!"

Reason set in, and we quickly realized Nikki was in the process of running past us.

FYI: When these hand-offs occur, the marathoner never stops running. Instead, support team members run alongside, seamlessly making the passes and offering words of encouragement. Also, FYI: I had no intention of assuming this running / encouraging role on the team. I planned to do some sign holding or cowbell ringing, but definitely nothing pertaining to running.

Yet, drastic times called for drastic measures. As Nikki's sungasses were perched on top of my head and knowing she was going to need them to survive the Phoenix sun (not the b-ball team), I sprung into action, franctically ripping them out of my hair, securing her vest with my armpit, and somehow managing to not spill my race day hydration (aka coffee) all over her.

Hayley also reacted instanteously and miraculously completed the rest of the transaction.

The moment was so exhilarating, the speed and drama, so intense.

And then she was gone. Off to run 21 more miles.

As we walked back to the car, we gave ourselves a well-deserved chastisement and vowed to not make the same mistake again.

And apart from one other miss (when we took too long waiting for donuts), I think we completed the race pretty well. At one point, we were able to facetime Nikki's husband, so he could see her run and tell her how amazing she is. We also provided a steady supply of chapstick, water, and high fives.

We were so busy supporting that we had no time to play "Marathon Spotting Bingo." Bummer, right? Every time a chicken clad individual passed me, I experienced a small sense of loss.

Yet, we knew that our first duty was to Nikki, and we proudly cheered her on to the end.

Yes, I'd say we did a pretty good job for our first marathon. It was rough, but we persevered and prevailed. We refused to give in to setbacks, instead learning from past wrongs and coming out on top.

As Nikki crossed the finish line, I wanted to exclaim as Pheidippides did, "We won!"

I will say though, I was slightly confused about why I didn't receive a medal at the end. See in this picture, Nikki is rockin' a medal with a rockin' desert picture on it, courtesy of RnRAM. She was also given a smoothie, a granola bar, and a Powerade, but there was nothing for Hayley, Brett, and I. It almost felt like the race coordinators didn't even know we existed.

Thankfully, there were some of those 26.2 bumper stickers for sale that all members of this exclusive club possess. I (kind of) deserved one, right?!?

Don't worry all you running purists: I didn't buy one.

Lesson Learned: My best friend is awesome.
(This wasn't really a new lesson. Perhaps it was just reenforcement of something I already knew.)

Lesson 64: It's the Final Countdown

I sat in my first seminary class of the semester today.

It was the first class of my last semester.

I experienced a mixture of emotions.

Excited to finish and move on to something else.

Sad to be finished and leave what is here.

Eager to dig into this semester's work.

Ready for all that work to be completed.

Reflective on how far we've come.

Curious concerning all that lies ahead.

It's an interesting place to be for sure.

A long time ago, before seminary, I read everything I could get my hands on by Elisabeth Elliot. Her late husband, Jim, said, "Wherever you are, be all there."

At this point, I am poised between the beginning of the end and the end. It's where I am. It is where I must be.

Lesson Learned: "Wherever you are, be all there." - Jim Elliot.

Lesson 59: 2013 Goals

Disclaimer: I just finished reading three friends' (moms') blogs, all regarding their New Year goals ... all written nine days late. I feel as though I am posting right on time.

My sister-in-law gave me a book over Christmas entitled, FIVE. Subtitle: Where will you be five years from today? The cover has a giant number 5 on it, and it's full of inspirational quotes and penetrating questions concerning the future. It gives guidance towards accomplishing goals and relates personal success stories. I'll copy just one part as it is concerns my alma mater.

"According to Dave Kohl, professor emeritus at Virginia Tech, people who regularly write down their goals earn nine times as much over their lifetimes as the people who don't, and yet 80% of Americans say they don't have goals. Sixteen percent do have goals, but they don't write them down. Less than four percent write down their goals, and fewer than one percent actually review them on an ongoing basis. Guess which one percent?"

Did you catch that? The most successful people in the world write down their goals and regularly review them! Good work blogging moms who are my friends mentioned in my disclaimer. You will one day rule the world. (Or at least achieve more that you desire over the course of your life than the rest of population).

Lesson 13: Public Speaking

Poised.     Confident.     Engaging.     Relatable.     Characteristics public speakers dream of embodying.

The art of conveying meaningful information to an often distracted audience is a feat worthy of consideration. Mastery of public speaking skills, equally necessary in both the business sector and a PTA meeting, is something that comes easily to some and painfully to others. In the course of my life, I have consistently fallen into the second category.

It hasn’t been from a lack of trying. Through an onslaught of genuine tears, I convinced my 3^rdgrade teacher that I deserved the title role of Christopher Columbus in our class play. (It consisted of snippets from his life. 4 out of the 5 Christophers were girls). I still remember my lines, “Please Prince John, I beg you to listen. I have studied the ancient maps … I know I can find a route to the Indies by sailing west.” Though the part pleased me, I didn’t get the one with the solo. The girl who received that honor now travels with a Broadway musical.

I again faced the microphone, delivering a sincere address, to my democratically minded seventh-grade peers, convincing them they should elect me as their class historian, a role I held for three years. A role I loved. I relished taking pictures, clipping newspaper articles, and recording the events of my class. Yet, as junior year elections approached, I realized I had to resign.

You see, somewhere between the ages of 8 and 15, I had lost the confidence it takes to stand in front of people and tell them something. The class historian is responsible for giving a long history of the class at graduation in front of 5,000 people, a task that frankly terrified me.

I googled thoughts on public speaking for this post and came across this quote from Jerry Seinfeld. "According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy." At this stage in my life, I might have agreed.

It continued to go downhill from there. In college it hit rock bottom when I received a C+ in public speaking. We had to videotape ourselves in hopes of improving, and all I remember was a lot of “ums” and a furiously rotating ankle. 

Fast forward a few years and I am in the throes of support-raising for a mission to Ireland. Suddenly, I find myself in front of groups of people, trying to explain to them the love of Christ and the need to share His gospel abroad.

Ya’ll, religion is a tricky subject to broach with an audience! There are so many touchy points and taboos making proper articulation absolutely essential, lest you find yourself splattered with rotten tomatoes.  And yet, the message of the gospel, in my opinion, is so irresistible and so important, that not speaking is simply not an option. 

It's as Jeremiah 20:9 says, "But if I say, "I will not mention his word or speak anymore in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in. Indeed, I cannot."

Thus, since pursing a life of ministry (as a career), the opportunities and necessities of public speaking have progressively increased. In fact, one of my dreams is that someday I'll have sweet wisdom to share and people to share it with in a speaking capacity. Thus, it is necessary to recognize that though presentation is not the most important thing ... it is certainly important. 

I truly believe people can improve their public speaking abilities. Here are a few helpful tips:

1.       Care about your subject matter. It has been said, “Grasp the subject, and the words will follow.” It is easy and natural to talk on things we love. Think about that slightly irritating friend who now has grandchildren for the first time. Does anyone really care about every single mumble jumble sound that comes out of the baby’s mouth? No. And yet, this proud papa has no trouble delivering his content with ease. In the same way, speaking about things you care about will enliven your innate emotions, joy, sorrow, frustration, excitement. 

2.       Know what it is you want to say. Mark and I both are still at the stage where we work way better with a manuscript. This means sitting down and physically writing out every word you intend to say. Even if you don’t end up using the manuscript, having all the ideas out there in a concrete form, ensures that you stay focused. 

3.       Practice. Work on it yourself, and then find an audience of one, who you feel comfortable working out all the blunders with. Repeat as many times as necessary.

4.       Welcome criticism. As with so many things, growth requires pruning. The only way to get better is to seriously consider truthful feedback. Ask for it beforehand, and you are much more likely to experience success.

5.       Work on troubling sections. Growing up I had a speech impediment. “Pleasth pasth the pascetti.” (Please pass the spaghetti). I still stumble over multiple R’s in a row. Many of us have these troubled spots that oftentimes cannot be avoided. Recognize your problems and put extra effort into successfully articulating them.

6.       Go slow. Forcing yourself to slow down your words, forces your audience to focus on what you are saying. If they don’t hear your words, they cannot consider whether they matter.

7.       Keep at it. It is impossible to improve overnight. Yet, I do believe that possessing public speaking skills separates the men from the boys, as they say. Thus, if you happen to ask the Lord to “breast the meal” at your best friend’s wedding, do not let that keep you from offering the blessing two weeks later at another’s. You get right back up on that mike and mispronounce her niece’s name. (All true stories).

This past weekend, a third friend trusted me, and I had the honor of reading Scripture in her wedding. Amazingly, the most difficult part of the whole task was the walk up to the podium twice (and thankfully, wedges totally eased that difficulty). I think I did ok, no crazy foot movements and no awkward mentions of body parts. 

Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People said, "There are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wish you gave." I encourage you all ... learn from your mistakes (and the mistakes of others) and press on!

Lesson Learned: There is hope for me. If there is hope for me, there is hope for us all. 

Lesson 10: Greatness (not Sweetness)

                A friend from high school just posted this link on my facebook page. Why, you may ask, would I be interested in a girl who fashioned her prom dress out of Starburst wrappers? Well my friends, it all started 13 years ago at a birthday party … 

                It began so innocently with one party-sized bag of Starbursts, about thirty in total. As we sat eating those delicious red and pink plastic-y squares, I saw my future clearly before me. I, Katherine Lynn Manning, would set the world record for the largest collection of Starburst wrappers ever. In fact, I envisioned myself receiving the award proudly before a host of cameras, just before diving into a pool full of Starburst wrappers. I wonder if a person could drown in something like that? 

                I knew that this was my destiny. That fall, as I entered high school, work towards the goal commenced. I had collectors at every lunch period … friends responsible for rounding up the discarded wrappers and handing them over to me. I was supremely grateful to these people, Tim McGovern and Matt Karabinos especially come to mind. We could average close to a 100 on a good day. For weeks, the “trash” would collect in the front pocket of my green Jansport, until a rare Friday would come in which I had no other plans. This night would be spent removing the wrappers from the pocket, straightening them out, organizing them by color and then … counting.

                This is not a joke.

                I continued collecting through 10^th grade, until a girl showed up to school wearing a pair of skater pants covered with Starburst wrappers. I felt unoriginal and gave up.

                I am now 27 years old. Somewhere, in a random bin in my parents’ house, thousands and thousands of Starburst wrappers lie in plastic bags, arrayed as a rainbow, with the number in each bag indicated on a ripped piece of notebook paper. I cleaned out my childhood bedroom when I left for college, then again when I left for Europe, a third time when I got married, and a fourth when Mark and I finally moved out (another story). For some reason, though I’ve discarded piles of memorable tee-shirts, creative class assignments, and an entire bag of trophies, I have not been able to part with this “collection.” 

                I wonder why. It’s not the only collection I have. I own at least forty Russian nesting dolls in shapes ranging from pretty girls, to Santa Clause, to Harry Potter, to at least six cat varieties. (Most of these are also in a box somewhere at my parents’ house). 

                I think it’s because there is still something special about the Guinness Book of World Records. If you are a record holder, it means that you have accomplished something in this world that no one else has been able to do. How many people can claim that? Not many. 

                The Olympics are approaching this summer. For those of you my age, you will remember Michael Johnson and his golden shoes. He literally flew! I remember where I was when Michael Phelps won the race that made him the person who won the most gold medals in a single Olympics (at Virginia Tech in TOTS. They aired the race on a screen with a projector. It was AWESOME). 

                Speaking of Olympians … I’ve known a few in my day. As a 10-year old, my swim team was coached by Jeremy Linn, silver medalist in the breaststroke in the ’96 Atlanta games. I also swam at the same swim club as Anita Nall, gold, silver, and bronze medalist in ’92. In high school, my field hockey team played against Angie Loy, Olympian in the Beijing Olympics, where she scored 4 goals for the U.S.A. Finally, in high school, as a high jumper, my team shared a practice space with our sister high school. Thus, I got to practice with Hyleas Fountain. At the time, she was the best high school high jumper in the country. In 2008, she was the second best heptathlon woman in the world!

                Though I have been in the same place at the same time as these incredible athletes, I have never really been near their level to actually compete. I would enter a track meet at 4’10”. Hyleas would not even start until 5’10”. 

                What’s the point? Starburst wrappers were my one chance to make it big, to make a difference, to matter. Maybe I haven’t been able to let that go.

                Truth be told. I’m sort of over the whole “one moment in time thing.” Glorious moments are great, but our legacy is made day by day. It is who we are consistently that makes us who we are.

                Today I attended a building dedication at our seminary. Dr. Ric Cannada was honored by our board, as the main building of our school was named after him. This man was instrumental in getting RTS Charlotte off the ground. He headed the team of devoted, passionate people that made the dream for a conservative seminary in south Charlotte, a reality. His co-workers and family members gave speeches lauding his work ethic, leadership, and true love for the Lord. His perseverance and faithfulness has allowed Mark, my friends, and I to have the incredible seminary experience that we have. What a sweet testimony of a life well spent!

                It dawned upon me that I am a part of his legacy, his work. In fact, Mark and I both are a part of his work, which is ultimately the work of the kingdom of God. As the result of his life, Mark and I will be better equipped for the life laid out before us, in ministry for the gospel. Is there any better way to spend a life?

                Starburst wrappers? Please. I have bigger things to do.

Lesson Learned: There is nothing wrong with thinking big. Think big. But consider, who receives the glory?

P.S. Sweetness was the title of a movie Mark made it college. It was his attempt at greatness. If you have been lucky enough to see it, you will know that he was successful. In fact, the night Sweetness premiered, was the night Mark and I met. Yes, Sweetness was very successful.